Story unfolds,

Sweetness in Starlight.

2012-01-24T17:00:00.015+08:00

Some people come in your life as blessings,

Others come in your life as lessons.

Good day readers, it's the 24th day of the new year 2012

And things are starting to begin differently for me.

What I meant was in terms of both materially, physically and emotionally.

First of all, GCE O'level results were out.

Honestly, I didn't do very well & the results weren't satisfying.

But many things happened, even though it was disappointing at first,

my parents still rejoiced.

I was at peace and I cried in tears of thankfulness once I got home that day. :)

It was a miracle. ( No joke) It really was because

All along in my graduation years, I've been failing my English subject.

Even so, I couldn't figure out why.

Knowing that that year I'll be having my national examination, I was truly desperate and troubled.

In fact yes, I admitted that I hadn't told anyone about the horrible feeling I was having ALL THE TIME.

Because what's the point yeah?

The one who is sitting for the exam is me, not anyone else..

Everytime I tried, I failed. Over and over again.

'Defeated' was the only word I met and had convinced myself into..

Still remember? I had blogged about how I had actually screwed up my English paper on O'level, and I was reminded by this matter almost every night before I went to bed.

I couldn't be more scared.

Time flies, O'level's results release were getting near.. but I knew very well that all I could do was to PRAY. And I did.

Cause what was done couldn't be undone.

The only way to was with God, and anything will be possible through Him.

So yeah, I comforted myself that for this time, I will get a pass grade for my English.

So what if I didn't pass in my Prelimary exams?

It doesn't even matter anymore.

God will do a change for THIS time round. :)

So I held onto this belief till the very day I received my results..

And today, I wanna praise my Lord that He is indeed real and He did not let me down.

Because you can see it by yourself guys, without this awesome God I would probably be on the newspaper..

I would have kill myself, yeah.

Because if you've known me well enough, I'm a girl who can't accept failure .

I've chosen my favourite course, Wellness, lifestyle & spa management course at RP. Yay :)

***

To be honest, God's really good to me.

In fact, he has already blessed me a lot more than I expected.

That day I went shopping with my mum at a department store,

I was telling my mum that I'm intending to get myself a perfume. For new year. Hee :)

Well at first, it was merely a thought of getting it..

I intended to browse through the perfume section first before deciding my favourite one.

(Because to buy a branded & 100% genuine one, it isn't cheap , guys! )

All along my mom, my sis and me used perfume.

The three of us loved it so much that we often used it.

And especially me who is so into girly stuffs, I wanted to have my own perfume. :)

And thank God that it's the first time my mom agreed fully to what I asked.

Yeah partly it's also because she's interested in them. (:

So I was browsing for Designers' Perfumes- Beyonce, Victoria Secret , Gucci and DKNY.

They're the only ones I would go for.

I was actually more to the Gucci idea because that was the brand I have always wanted to own.

But sometimes, it's really not up to your will..

While we were walking around, looking and smelling at those perfumes (they mostly ranged from $15.00 to $35.00) , the disappointed me was distracted and caught up by those sweet-looking sandals.

Because as I'd just said, those perfumes we smelled, were not to my liking. :(

The sandals-slippers looking shoes were on $19.90 sale so I ended up buying a pair of beach-looking slippers and a pair sandals with light pink roses.. :D

Lovely!

Afterwards my mom and I went back again- smell and test for nice-scent-perfumes.

But haha I think we're wise enough to approach a division retailer this time round.

The filipino guy promoted the Designers Perfumes which are on sale, and He got us into very attentive listening about the 'biography' of individual perfume.

Besides the dry part, he gave us sampling of smelling perfumes (where one spray of perfume is sprayed on each small slip of fliter paper & then handed to us for smelling)

Its texture felt kind of like the chemistry experiment's fliter paper to me. Hah.

His service was really good but we didn't tried a lot of brand as I already roughly knew what I was looking for.

Altogether we've tried Beyonce Heat Rush ( it smelled fruity which was really nicee! I like it! ),

Guess (it was more of a caramel smell.. So yeah, I was abit disappointed by the scent) and a few of Paris Hilton's collection.

Guess what? In the end, I bought home a Paris Hilton's South Beach :)

Intially I was hoping to buy Beyonce's however, it cost $55.00 (sale's price) with its pathetic 50ml..

There was a few minutes where I argued with myself that it's already a good buy because it cost $98.00 originally.

But oh well, I'm still a student.

That what I thought again.

I'm actually an unstoppable shopaholic girl when it comes to shopping.

Because I'm Audrey myself, I knew that very well.

If I DON'T control myself right in time, I'm gonna buy whatever that caught my eyes .

I took a deep breath and reminded myself not to fall into the trap of becoming a MATERIAL QUEEN. :)

So yeah, Paris Hilton's was more than good enough. It was $49.00 (sale's price) with 100ml where originally was $100.00.

Yup, I was all over the moon! :D

I mean, where on earth will you find a 100% genuine designer perfume for $49.00?

It's a rare chance, seriously!

But if it's a gift from God, it'll be possible.no.matter.what.

And I deeply knew, all these things were in fact blessings from my dearest Jesus!

Give thanks to Him.

And in the end, I'm not a spoilt child- I told God that I will use the pay from my vacation's job to pay for my own shopping expenses.

He will be glad to extreme I think. Gee :)

I'm seventeen right now, that doesn't mean I'm older, I will naturally spend more than the younger me.

I'm seventeen right now, that means I have enough maturity to toss the 'past spoilt me' away and become stronger, self-reliant & independent.

I would dare to say I'm seventeen right now, and it's time for me to help to reduce my parents' burden.

Many people out there dislike perfumes, I couldn't figure out every.single.time.

Many times, I thought perhaps I was different from the rest.

Yes, I always was.

But it took me some time to think and realise that, perfume is an individual interest and it takes one to use his or her own heart to appreciate the beautiful scent of perfume.

The smell of Perfume can take us to another world sometimes,

tempting us to yearn more of them and causing us to fall in love with them.

So actually. Everybody would love perfume. Unless he or she is allergic to it. (That's the exceptional case.)

The thing is, it takes the right perfume to capture you. ♥

And it takes the right owner to meet and appreciate his/her right perfume.

♥

.♥

♥.

.♥

♥.

.♥

My Prom Night'11 photo are above.

Spent lavishly on hair curling & styling, make-up which was done by a beauty specialist

Not forgetting the once-wore-never-wear-again-prom dress, heels, clutch, earrings

But still Didn't regretted going even though my prom night's expenses was truly a Bomb.

Because it was a memorable memory that couldn't be bought with all the money you had.

Yet I held back.

2011-12-20T19:41:00.015+08:00

Kinapped my heart like nobody else.
Lord, if many says love is a chemistry
Is it possible to undo this love's reaction of mine?

:D Quitted my first vacation job (old one) YESS! and then starting from tues, I was working at a new job.
At first, I thought it was just a simple shoe department store, but then.. it was a variety of accessories like scarfs, hats, earrings, handbags..,etc to shoes for all ages.
I am like, WOW. & PHEW at the same time. Honestly speaking. :)

But. I love it :) although working continuously there has actually made me quite ill last night after I came home after work.
Initially it was just body all over aching pain. However, in the middle of the night
Health attacks came! );
Had burning throat, you name it, throat infection I guess?
It was really terrible, I couldn't speak properly cause it was seriously painful.
I thought drinking a few more glasses of water would probably helps, maybe in reducing the so-called burning flame my throat was having..

But worse come to worse, it was so painful that I had tears produced by my tearducts. Awww, drinking hurts!

Luckily, my 14hrs of sleep helped. (: Give thanks to my dearest Jesus! I'm alot better right now.

Ohyes, the miracle thing happened today was I had actually got tomorrow off for work. HAHA, my manager phoned me in noon, asked me why I'm not at work today, how I was doing.. Ooh, He had no idea about my reason yet. I told him that I've already informed francis who's another manager ( we have two managers) about my health's condition.

And it all got him to offer me another day of rest, which is tomorrow.
As I hang up the call, I wanted to sing hallejulah ! :D

Readers, you don't even know how hard it is to get a day off from work nowadays!
Well yeahh, I'm so so happy right now. Woohoo! (':

If you guys were wondering why I seldom update, I could tell you that I was actually very busy all these while.
I was either out with friends or working or attending church activities. :)
Caught two movies during this x'mas seasons : Arthur Christmas & Puss In The Boots. HEH (;

Both these movies were adorable! (I'm so grown-up, can't believe I would love them so much!) Um well,.. I don't know since when I like cartoons so much. Something must be really wrong with me. Uhmm.

Endless reasons that I love you.
Unforgettable look in your eyes.
I'm so caught up by the way you smile. Every. Single. Time.
(':

Love? Marriage? Kids?

2011-12-03T19:32:00.002+08:00

Till now, I then realised and understand that everybody has different opinions towards certain things and stories.

What we have in mind, it's better if we keep it to ourselves to prevent further arguments.

What other criticisms, it's better off if we choose to ignore them and go our own way.

Because readers life is yours, you have to pave it according to your own wishes, not according to others' will.

But be sure to know that whatever outcomes your decision gets you to, you'll have to accept them willingly and overcome them with fortitude.

That's called living life the right way.

Hey guys, I'm back from my m'sia trip !

Really thank God for making it so wonderful and blessed.

Yup, I'm truly blessed by all of my relatives. Had been to many places, had been treated with yummy meals and suppers..

And that is why I said I felt really really blessed and loved.

And God is the provider, all glory to Him ;)

Aunts drove us to have our x'mas shopping, bought stuffs (well this will be a head title for everything I had bought; Yeah I'm lazy to blurt all out here..)

Saw my cousin's baby- she's adorable & beautiful too!

...and there's so much more to write.. duh

I wondered when will I finish typing all those? Wait.. No. I doubt I will finish typing.

I guess it would be best for them to remain in my brain as memories then. HAH.

And ooooh yeah, there's church for me tmrw. :o

Well yessss, there's church for me forever always sundays. Haha :D

It has to be cause God is the top priority to everything else.

Umm, shall end my post right here? /:

Alright, since there's no more big issues for me to tell you guys..

Then, a goodbye to you, for the time being !

Seriously, I feel like quitting my job. *rolled eyes*

***

I've learnt to keep my comments to myself when everyone's opinions were going the opposite direction as mine.

It doesn't matter if you have no say in the crowd, by listening you're being wise as you can learn and gain new knowledge which haven't cross your mind before.

A poem the city writes to.

2011-11-18T10:24:00.009+08:00

Staying mundane. That's all I wanna.

God, could you grant me this tiny yet unfulfilled wish?

Hello, it's raining right here.

*Eyes closed and take a deep breath*

Even so, the weather is so good! It's cooling and plus the lovely sound of the rain falling onto the ground-i don't know how you name it, relaxing or peaceful? :)

Tomorrow will be prom day, hope i'll enjoy it regardless of what happen..

And my holidays were actually a love baggage.

Someone who is so willing to approach me and knocked on my door; I didn't know what to do.

I honestly don't feel like trying out another type of relation. It's kinda...

Uhmm.. Well I prefer to be single at this moment.

God, hopefully you can just cut it out.

Relationships doesn't hurt, it's lovely & warm.

Many says they can't live without a relationship.

And this is where we have to really understand that, we all can want for a relationship.

But.

It isn't a must-need for every one of us.

It's not like we will die without them; We still can live in satisfaction, contentment.

We don't need them to feel in love; We still have many people around us who loved us dearly.

So I really hope God can pave a pathway which is right for me as I would not like to hurt the other party.

:) I'm sure He will !

Single? I liked that. :D

Promises? I've never believe in them.

2011-11-17T19:29:00.004+08:00

End of the rainbow. But I got peace within me.

To be honest, my hols was rather relaxing yet 'plain'.
My job wasn't on fixed daily basis. Hence, I got to keep waiting patiently for boss's calls if he needs me..
I hated it having to do so.
You know I want to work everyday, learning new things everyday instead of being like a useless slog who watch the clock ticking by. Hmph !
My heart feels so ache upon seeing minutes and seconds flying away D:
So yeah, I started complaining in my heart, and contemplating if I should get myself another job.

But mum says it'll be better if I attend the interview after our vacation.
Speaking of that
Oh no, it's coming so soon, right after prom! YAY, I'M LIKE SO HAPPY TO GET OUT OF SPORE? :D
Though it's always my mum's hometown, I still could have my x'mas shopping over there with cousins. :)

And also, prom night is next week - In the midst of preparing. (It's really tiring & exhausting!)
Feels like canceling it & came up with all sorts of bad reasons prom can bring such as waste of my time, waste of money, causing us family to have a shorter vacation, etc..
However, dad encouraged me to go still. Seeing he was supportive of me going prom
I had to listen to him :)
*Sigh*

Alrighty, gotta end this post right here. Quite weird right? Yeah I knoow.
This post is funny in a way of me writing things which jump here and there.
What's wrong with me.
...
Oh well.. *shrug and speechless*

It's late. Mum's rushing me for dinner because I kept delaying
Can't let her wait anymore.
Okay bye !

My heart belongs to Jesus.

2011-11-13T18:22:00.006+08:00

From my life's first cry to final breath,

Jesus commands my destiny.

Hi !

I clearly remembered I'd once posted The Importance of Faith as my status in Facebook before.

Was super inspired by Jayesslee's song on youtube channel.

And hahaha yeah, you could count this as a reason why I'm here typing a blogpost regarding Faith ;)

I've talked about how Faith is often seemed insignificant to many of us.

And very very often When speaking of that tiny faith

It does not matter how great you are, what have you done

But it actually really does matters a lot - Do you have faith in yourself or not. :)

But wait a moment.

Saying you had faith is plainly just a slogan, acting out you have faith is then what makes your life more valuable .

How many one of us actually kept our faith during tough times, bitter moments in life?

I believed most of us have already failed the task of demonstrating faith in our own personal life.

We always asked our favourite questions of why is this and that happening.

We got emotionally breakdown .., etc.

It would also be lying to say we hadn't doubt ourselves before during awful times, am I right?

And today I wanna let you guys know that it is rather important to still have your faith

even in times where you felt shitty and crappy..

Admittedly, I don't give way to my mind that things will reverse by itself or

things will suddenly turn out the way that I like.

But instead, I will make them into my own history.

That is how I managed awful life issues, though sometimes yeah I admit I could get upset and really disappointed.

But as how I encouraged myself, I advised readers not to get overly sad.

And most probably you guys have heard this before :

Let your past make you better, not bitter.

Exactly. We shouldn't even dwell onto them anymore.

However that wasn't enough still.

We gotta pick up faith to drive ourselves further down the road.

Because let us think. Without faith, what are we left? What other great achievements can we possibly do?

Hmm well maybe Yes, we could still be alive. Wealthy and healthy, no broken arms or legs..

But how long can we last emotionally?

That is the reason why we need faith. Having faith in yourself. (:

Doing so, we believed we'll get better after each fall ; we'll get stronger after crying ;

we also feel better, happier when we began to cast faith into our daily life.

Otherwise, we'll keep remaining as who we are right now.

And we cannot become who we want to be if we were to remain as who we are.

Perhaps today, you came across my blog all of a sudden and read this.

And as you are here today, if you're feeling down, terrible and awful

I truly hoped this video song below and with the addition of some of my words above could stir up your emotions, spirits towards positive side and also not forgetting, to pump up your faith level that would go with you all your whole life !

The lyrics was very inspiring. I was moved :

Get up & change yourself.

2011-11-05T16:44:00.006+08:00

那些等待每每落空..

Sister just came back from her class chalet this morning ; Slept without her presence last night.

I missed her you know. ): Even it's only a night.

She had a stayover at changi..

Could clearly see that she had so much fun with her friends there the whole night that

her eyes were droopy and even unluckily caught a slight sniffle.

Prayed & hopefully she'll get better later. :) Yeah, she'd plopped straight to bed soon after her Mc Cafe.

She's still sleeping now. I guess she's really really way too tired..

And she also said smth really weird. I think she's too tired that's why.

Out of blue, she told me that she'll be fine after drinking Mc Cafe's hot chocolate.

? :/

So I told her to go to bed.

And well me, I went to revise for my chinese paper.

I swear that those chinese characters doesn't interest me as much as I did in the past.

It's kind of sad. Really I meant it.

Cause there were people (adults) who said that mother tongue language is our culture hmm,.. and it's some kind of precious thing we shouldn't lose them.. just like our identity..

And now, I think I'm going to end up like one of those examples these elders said.

今日你将成为琐碎的记忆.

今日, 我会放弃世间的虚伪和欺骗 ; 争取自己的完美.

Numb and sore. I'm used to it already.

2011-11-04T11:52:00.009+08:00

It's your choice. I understand.

Your world, not mine.

I'm just your experience, yeah.

Hi my readers, it's been quite awhile without updates.

Well, i'm exactly left with two more papers to go for O's. It's such a relief, really. (:

First of all, I wanna thank my dear Jesus for his blessings as well as his watch over.

He gave me so much more than I asked from him.

All the papers did went okay, I can't say they went superb.

But I deeply know my wisdom on answering those qns are all from God.

He's right beside all the time when I rush to fill in all the lines on those white sheets of papers.

Although didn't manage to complete a few parts for a few subjects,

but in the end I walk out with all my praise just to my Lord.

So yup, I'm going to do study solo for my chinese next thurs and another paper which'll be on fourteenth nov.

May Jesus be my guardian angel.

And as I promised, I'll take my O's full with confidence for my Lord. :)

***

Hi, I guessed it's really the right time to release someone who aren't right or maybe unsuitable for me..

It's a ripe time to let go of something that hasn't been mine all this while.

I shouldn't be stubborn. So you needn't have to worry, I won't make a fuss anymore..

This time, I'm sure I'll get over it. I'm honest.

Thankyou for making me your experience.

All the time, I'm just that. I know, I can't be more of that in your life.

Friend, last long. :)

I don't want to lose a friend like you so, I'll wish you all the best.

Enjoy life & most importantly, stay happy!

***

As for myself, I don't feel sad. To be honest, I'm willing to give myself some time to grieve over this.

But I won't be long! :) Because humans couldn't possibly stay emotional forever,

there will surely be a time where you won't feel it as a big deal anymore .

And I always carried this belief that there'll be a better tomorrow after today..

Other than myself, people won't taste how bitter this kind of feeling I'm having right now..

But.

This is something I had to go through, I told myself.

This is a reality which I must face it, accept it and take it as life experience.

Because I know, escaping from the truth is more painful, more unbearable..

My life ahead shall be better.

Perhaps this time round is what God has given me, hoping me to learn something fruitful in order to be somebody better ten years down the road! Right? :)

Let's wait and see.

I'll be better than the girl I am right now. I'll shine ten years down the road.

I'll be happier. I'll be stronger and tougher.

I won't let anybody to pull me down again. Never ever again. Never.

So actually. I'm right - I'm not the one who think too much.

And I'm not going to love anybody again, until when God sends me the right one.

I'll win the battle for you Jesus.

2011-10-25T16:59:00.008+08:00

I'm not the kind who goes for looks.

You don't have to be perfect; You don't have to try to be.

You know what, even if you become fat, ugly , distorted one day

It doesn't matter.

Picture tells everything, sometimes.

Just like that girl above,

Very often we couldn't see the things, happenings that lies ahead of us.

However regardless of what comes into our pathway, we simply have to put on our best smiles

& stay happy!

Had my english papers down, and i'm going to give all the glory to my Lord.

Truthfully I could have write further, with more lovely phrases...

This was what I argued back to my own wild thoughts after I saw my scripts being collected by the teacher.

Then that's when I remembered God's words:

And Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, anything is possible to Him whoever believes."

Mark 9:23

We all knew God is far greater than all of the humans on Earth.

With Him, there's nothing defines as impossible or absolute.

Yes I was terrified of the outcomes. Cause failure was never an option for me. Never.

Just like a perfectionist, I like doing my work perfectly neat, tidy and I would expect myself to produce a decent piece.

I was after perfect expectations for myself. I hated letting myself and my parents down.

I don't know if my present character has anything got to do with my dreaded setbacks experiences.

Did those failures from my past made me the way I am today?

Is it because I fear those history will repeat themselves, that's why I got disappointed very easily when tasks were not up to my own expectations?

I did wondered these qns and asked them to myself before.

But every single time I did this, I got stuck in the midway with no absolute answer.

Maybe yes, they indeed had cast a shadow in my life..

But does that means I should give way to this shadow which was made out from my past setbacks, and then remain upset over the 'I could have write further..' fact?

No I shouldn't..

Yes. This may be me.

But I'm sure this is not what God wants me to become into. A girl who afraids of her past.

Whatever happened in the past, it's already history.

I shouldn't use them as a prediction of what will and what will not happen anymore.

That's a thing that I should change myself this time: Drop all the past. They're over.

God merely wants me to believe in Him, to stay calm and strong.

By trusting and believing wholeheartedly this mighty God, why would bad things happen?

And hence, there's no bits of reason that I should doubt his miracles.

So.

Tell me guys.

Should I worry somemore? Should I still let my negative thoughts run wild unnecessarily?

*thinking of my dearest Jesus*

Oh well I guess I needn't have to anymore.

So yeah. Let's smile ! :*)

Well,

Before I wrap up this post, let me share with you guys this awe-inspiring song

these gals are superb. especially yoona and tiffany (;

I prefer this song in english version actually.

It actually took me 15 minutes to type this post which is a time I could afford to fork it out between my study breaks.

But still. I can't be posting too long.

So ya. KBye !

I love you more than just a sonate piano piece.

2011-10-18T13:15:00.003+08:00

So we fight through the hurt and we cry.

Amongst the milllion Nemos deep in the sea, I found my eyes only set on you.

Love is so simple, so ethereal, so lovely-

But why would we humans made it so complicated to understand and difficult to happen?

Was this too much to ask for?

All I hoped for was a simpler life, enveloped with love, peace, friends, families, living my happy days down the road.

And nothing more.

Richness, wealth, beauty, fame, popularity, sports car, mansion.

I wanted neither of them.

So what even if I have conquered them all, would they guarantee my happiness?

No.

You know people around always misunderstood my definition of life; Life is not being successful in future, having earned lots and lots of dollars.

It's all about me seeking for true happiness, living as an ordinary girl.

I just wanted a perfect ordinary blissful life. With my loved ones and Jesus.

Yes, this is all I asked for. All I ever hoped for.

Peace. Fairness. Equality.

Why can't our society not have those academic barriers in between all of us?

Why they have to distinguish the A's and the D's.

Why makes us live in a world of judgement, separating our status, causing jealously to occur over and over again between humans during competition?

Does it matters so much to be able to differentiate the rich and the poor; the A's and the D's?

Look. From young, we've already learnt how to judge, how to criticise, how to fight for what's ours.

That is why, right now, it has caused me so much pain as things have been slipping off my hands, out of control.

I'm starting to lose people that I loved.

I'm about to lose friends who can be together with me, and which in the past it happened before.

If not so much of our differences in academic, appearances, family background

they will not distant themselves away from me.

In history , jealously and inferiority took over in my past friendships.

Like a evil thing, it brings upon misery and bitterness.

It broke that very little yet precious thing : love

Where originally it can takes our emotions utmost high, it was unfortunately replaced by jealously and inferiority.

Just like a mystery, it caused me to wonder how jealously and inferiority managed to etch into our, humans hearts.

Where does it emitted from? Again, I wanted to know.

There and then, I realised -It's our differences & comparison.

As soon as I found out this heartbreaking truth, it's no other than like hitting myself on a cold hard stonewall.

She's seen the photo; She got jealous for God knows what's the reason.

Can't you figure out that she is a girl loving you right here?

You're just like her fire, her obsession, her favourite, her desire.

Please , don't ever leave her alone .

Tell me, are you worth my time?

2011-10-15T10:42:00.012+08:00

Are you the typical flirter, liar, attention seeker who tries to kidnap girls' heart?

You know I just really hoped that my assumptions about you were wrong.
That picture of you and her again, was really beyond digusted, sickening and unbearable descriptive words .
Why she still seemed to be clinging onto you, and vice versa.
Are you both really over or what. Please at least, let me know what your true feelings are.
So I won't be wasting my precious time on you anymore.
And i'll take back all my feelings for you if you aren't sincere in treating me the right way.

I'm a girl. You're a boy.
I played my role well in reminding myself not to be overly fussy over this photograph.
And don't ever forget you've got a role to play as well,
you gotta be honest to your own feelings ; gotta be responsible in making an explaination for yourself.
Because you have met me, it's impossible for you to have girl(s).
Be truthful to me. Otherwise you'll only be wasting my happy days, my tears, and my time.

Patching up with your ex again and again was a gruesome sight to me.
Sorry, this is me . I hate it. It's just disgusting.

I have to state my stand clear:
I can't love someone who doesn't love me faithfully.

I hope it's me who think too much. :)

Please don't make my life complicated, I beg you.

2011-10-14T17:10:00.011+08:00

Hi dreaded emotions and happenings,
I dare you try to put me down once more.
And I wanted to let you know that whatever it takes
I'm just gonna dance right through the pain.

Because failure was never an option for me.

Had my once-in-a-lifetime Grad.Day in HS today. And it's a memorable one, really thanks to all the teachers who spent countless efforts in preparing this meaningful event for all of us.

*touched*

Was utterly surprised by the vid showcase.

Honestly, it had never ever crossed my mind that our secondary one's photos and orientation vids are still well-kept.

Well yeah, mr edwin chong is indeed very thoughtful. Just that I didn't expect that he was.

I'm sure, I would not be able to forget today, my friends and teachers, and the faces I've seen in this school..

I'm so blessed by having a chance to have them to be part of my memory.

And not forgetting that all of these were God's works.

He is super good beyond words. HAHA. :D

***

After Grad.Event, soonmin and me headed off to pepperlunch at mall before the dismissal time.

Whoops. I hope it doesn't really matter; we were told 'you all may leave now' by our teachers.

Anyway, I guessed it's okay.

And then we met Geraldine, a friend of soonmin from Cedar Girls' for lunch.

I didn't order anything to eat though, can you imagine that very little and pathetic buffet lunch have filled my tummy to the max?

It's rather awkward to watch 'em eating ; I guessed my appetite have shrank recently.

Jesus bless me ya?

At the same time, I'll also try to take in more supplements to maintain my nutrients level.

For the sake of my national exams, I have to stay healthly and fit.

And that is why I'm going to have my second jog this weekend.

Bringing myself to the park for this jog is kind of a tough task to me as I'm not the sporty type of girl.

However, it'll do me good. I know. :)

So yup right now, I obliged myself to only just stay at home for revision--I'm going to jog at least twice a week.

Ohyes, I'm cool. I know. (No really, that's was just a joke and very random lol)

***

Dedication to friends who have left unerase-able footprints in my life :

I know there're people out there who are right for me and who aren't.

I know there're people out there who I can get along well with and those who I can't.

Out of my class, my CCA, my school, there's only a few.

They aren't the most popular girls in school, the smartest, the prettiest, the kindest, the richest or the nicest.

They're the ones whom I always hang around with, whom I always talked to,

whom I always shared my laughters, my heartfelt issues with.

These few little yet unforgettable friends, I just wanna you all to know that

I cherished every moments with you guys.

Thankyou for all this years of us creating our memories together, being there for one another (although i know we rarely do), and tolerating and accepting my flaws and mistakes.

There're times where all of us have offended one another indirectly with the words from our mouth and all this while, perhaps we've never had a chance to apologise or we've never managed to put down our pride, and have the courage to apologise once.

It's not easy to do so, we all knew..

And right here today, if I've ever offended you guys, let me have this chance to apologise to you:

I'm sorry.

And thankyou if you're willing to accept this stupid yet late apology.

Lastly, I love you all my girl friends. ♥

I know that it's a bit too early for me to write this dedication.

But why not? Since I'm just nice in the right mood to write this, I might as well complete it today !

Yeah it's a rather long post I would say. Sorry about that , readers.

Hope you won't mind.

P.S. Do you still have feelings for her?

When nothing seems to appeal you.

2011-10-13T16:51:00.009+08:00

Sometimes I feel like we're friends; sometimes I feel like we're more than friends, but sometimes I feel like I'm just a stranger to you.

I wanted to thank God for giving me abit of break off from those burdens; allowing me to write my post for today.

:) He's marvelous, isn't he?

Well, gotta share some goody news to you guys. And guess what?

Imma gonna go for my school's prom night , (I'M LIKE YES!) I've decided and i'm not gonna change my mind again. Never.

Sadly, I hoped you're going and if that's possible, I again hoped that you can sit right next to me.

On a second thought, I wondered if you'll mind sitting with my classmates at the same table..

Ever since the freshman year I got into sec school, I've heard about prom-I was super silly (I know) and carried the possibility of attending this big event.

Yeah to me, it's honestly a big event for me. It's the last place I wanted to be with all the friends I knew before I leave this neighbourhood school and move on to my tertiary education.

That's why deep down I've always wanted to go. badly.

Tomorrow'll be the last day of registration, and I'm absolutely sure that I'll be there.

Will you be there?

***

Thousand things going through my mind right this moment.

#1. I'm pretty sure I was jealous when I see that most dreaded pic again. It bothers me.

(Alright, I'm trying to push this thought away. GCE O'lvl is coming audrey, put a stop to this negative assumptions.)

#2. Oh jesus christ. Can you believe it? Tomorrow's graduation day. I'll be officially graduating tmr.

Oh god ! What can be more awesome than that?

#3. I'm constantly reminded by next thurs. It's my battle : GCE O'lvl phy,chem practical.

(Give it your best shot audrey)

#4. Countdown for my theory o's papers. Ugh.

#5. Hey, I'm trying out this new church this sun. New friends! Hopefully those youths will be nicee. Yeahh, fingers crossed. Shall stay optimistic like always. Wait, have I been that?

#6.

I bet you won't want to know the rest.

Partly it's because I'm feeling lazy to write all of them. Mind you, it's a thousand plus minus.

And if I'm gonna blast all 'em out here,

Oh dear when will I be able to finish typing !

Okay, I will end my post right here. And I'm plopping for a short nap soon. Super lethargic today so gotta recharge my energy level for tonight revision.

And ohyes, absolutely no teevee for me tonight. A rule I set for myself.

It's so sad, I've hardly have any entertainment everyday.

And right now, I must have been crazy to set this ridiculous rule to kill off all my fun time entirely.

But oh well, it's gonna be worthwhile in the end.

Wish me luck for my 'battles' !

I said I'm stressed. You said you're stressed. My classmates said they're stressed.

Hello, who's not man?

I should have known. It's was all a love triangle.

2011-10-09T10:03:00.006+08:00

I clutched my fingers upon realising that you still love him.

Things have been happening all too sudden but,

Seeing what she wrote, I knew it all..

Just because a relationship is over, doesn't mean her feelings are.

Deeply, I felt truly helpless. Confused. Lost.

That's because a thought had just struck hard in my head whispering, ' Audrey, you're a BITCH.'

But Tell me. What could I possibly do?

You're lying to yourself aren't you , girl? You still love him dearly don't you?..

Then why don't you inform me, so I'll back off and you can have him all by yourself.

From the start,

Isn't that what you was hoping for?

Isn't that what your heart is always yearning- for him to come back?

And perhaps, I would also feel better for not being a bitch in people's impressions ; snatching your stuffs..

And maybe that most infernal nightmare's going to be true : I'm going to lose you..

Right now the picture had became so clear and believable : I'm just simply a third party afterall .

Lord, WHY.

My greatest love story ever told.

2011-10-04T18:13:00.004+08:00

My heart skipped a beat each time my eyes caught yours.

I would smiled stupidly at my phone whenever your texts appeared.

And my heart exploded at each time of the 'hi's.

And those lovely voices of yours.

Awfully guilty and sorry for not keeping my I-shall-not-blog-anymore promise..

Slap me if you want to, readers.

Promises like this were hard to kept because this blog is always what I need most when

there's a thousand feels and thoughts going through my head.

So yeah, I got to spill out a little of beans, maybe to feel more at ease.

To summarise all in one go : I'm afraid to lose you.

It was actually very embarrassed for me to say this out, cause personally to me it's funny.

Er no , I think it's super hilarious. You'll know what I mean exactly as you read on.

It seriously freaked me out cause it did happened in my nightmare.

Worse of all, altogether were a total of '3 episodes'. And it's devastating.

The nightmare jolted me, I woke up in sweat and thought everything was really happening.

But my vivid surroundings told my instincts.

It was till then I managed to return back to sleep.

It wasn't easy to put it off my mind.

But it did give me a chance to thought over this scary question: What if it really happen, audrey?

I wasn't sure how to console myself over that possibility.

Neither I was sure about my own reaction for that.

But deep inside, I do fancy you. And that's all I'm sure of.

(;

Dreamcatcher.

2011-09-30T16:18:00.006+08:00

Love is so strong till it's unexplainable, unstoppable.

So yeah, me and her were okay now. Both of us were getting back on track.

Awesome. :)

And it have been quite a break since I last blogged so today, I indeed have many things to share with you guys.

But sadly again, (I'm sorry to give you disappointments almost everytime) I wanted to keep it to myself.

They weren't sad stuffs but yeah, they're simply lessons I've to learn from them. I have to.

Dirty you yesterday with gush of tears, sorry about that pillow.

And once again, I have to really thank my Lord for calming the storm in me.

If wasn't for Him, I would have bring death upon myself yesterday for the second time with an unconscious mind.

Almost went for it.

Geez, I must be insane .

'Be happy. and love life' was what we always reminded ourselves.

But seriously, how many times did we truly take the advice and kept it in our hearts?

For me, it wasn't even once.

Just like a facebook friend had said, this lesson was learnt a bit too late.

For me, it's absolute a yes . Cause i've wasted years being plainly just a miserable freak.

I don't know why I have to be so negative all of the time and only spoting the weaknesses rather than the strengths that I already have within me.

And for this moment till my GCE O'lvl ends, I shall stay away from negative stuffs.

Well , that's what I wrote on a sheet of paper with my coloured markers , which was sticking on my sis's wardrobe door (mine's just beside hers)

so I can see it easily and with repeated reminders, I will then manage to note that down and keep that right inside my brain.

I hope that helps. :)

By the way guys, this will most likely to be the last blogpost till my exams are officially over and done with.

which will be like, in mid-november?

This period will be really super busy and obviously I have no time for blogging.

So yeah. Readers from Russia , States or other places, thanks for visiting this blog of mine. :)

It won't be closed down as private, I promised.

And it'll continue to be public-opened.

So do takecare and god bless you all .

Off as a nerd to run my last lap well and steady.

Will be back !

Stay tuned.

;It's a miracle I'm still alive now.

Cause I intended to jump off and end my life without a second thought.

Yes I've changed. Pain does that to people.

2011-09-21T18:43:00.004+08:00

Readers. Life isn't a bitch sometimes, is the people around you who caused it.

Your and my life, is totally awesome by itself.

口口声声只会说我不了解你。

但有没有摸过自己的良心，问问你自己你几时有真真去了解我，我的感受？

只要别人每次去关心, 了解你就行了咯？

为什么做人要做得这么自私? 什么都要随你的意思啊。

I'm super clear-minded right now. So i'm absolutely not talking rubbish.

Don't expect me to be always kind anymore.

Don't expect me to stay calm anymore when you're actually treating me like a dog .

Don't expect me to be the past yanting anymore.

What you've done, you should know very well.

Ask you talk it out, you don't want right?

Then now say I'm not talking to you hurts. Like what? All my fault?

You're confusing.

懒得睬你.

Mr and mrs problems, i'm not afraid of you.

2011-09-17T16:49:00.007+08:00

People say fate controls who walks into your life,

but it's up to you to decide who you let walk out,

who you let stay and who you refuse to let go.

And I've already made up my mind.

Hellooo.

Just came back two hours ago from Pasir ris town park with family! (:

Hahaha, had a whale of time there fishing and BBQ-ing . Wheeeee !

Daddy managed to catch fishes and prawns but i didn't though,

I guessed i must be too chatty with sis while fishing,

and fishes plus prawnies were all scared off by our laughters and loud voices , sob. D:

That beats why NO FISH was on bait, duh..

Even so, still did enjoyed myself .

Ohyes, me and sis cycled too. Yeah, honestly it has been like ages since we've cycled together. :)

Hey sis: HAHA, you were all super crazyy on the sloping part i rmb ! LOL I guess you didn't even realise how many eyes were on you ! Ahahaha. Love you lah.

Yeah, that's my silly little sis. Always trying to be funny with me all the time \: but still never fail to make me smile! (;

Well, we've been there since morning. So yeah, was really very tired after hom-ed.

But I was then left with no choice because of all those (rubbish, unhealthy shittys!) oily and barbecued foods I've ate today,

I couldn't afford to gain any weight and so I gotta push myself for 4 rounds of jogging..

And ta-dah, I'm back and here am I typing this post !

HEHE :)

Yes it's absolute true that as long as you've the will to do something, nothing can stop you. and nothing is impossible .

Mom said I was crazy to jog at this time but seriously, which girl would like to gain fats ?

So I smiled and told her not to worry and just went for my run anyway.

And woah right now, I feel so refreshed and energetic.

Many apologies, got to end right here and head off to sleep. Eyes are droopy already.

Thankyou mom & dad. ♥♥

You've someone and I'm just the extra one.

2011-09-15T16:43:00.015+08:00

It's pointless and meaningless to pursue desires which wouldn't even come true , by exchanging with your own happiness.

Ahahaha, was munching on IKO oat calcium cracker earlier on.

It has been like, ages since I ate my last piece of oat cracker? Hah, had missed it much .

And yeah, if you're guessing if that was my lunch.. You're right.

Well, I'm losing appetite as days goes by. and idk why either. \:

So had been taking supplements these few days, just to keep your nutrient level high you know.

prelims was rather difficult.

Amaths paper two was alright whereas chemistry was a total failure, srlsy.

It seems tough to me, it's no joke really.

Sigh !

And this isn't the end yet, still left with two more papers : phy, chem and practical.

And oh. I just remembered that there isn't any school for me tmrw & mon. Ohyay! \m/ LOL.

Omigod . But honestly I feel, so goooooooood all of a sudden HAHA.

Tmrw's for biology students and yea, I'm not one of them. So ya, imma staying at home for tmr.

Geez.

Gotta use my time even more wisely cause O'lvel is no blaff, and is nearing very soon.

Basically, will be officially taking a break off for this coming weekend. Woohoo !

Super excited about it, cause dad's going to bring us somewhere. Wheeeeeeee. (;

Although next week there's still two more prelims papers but, break is all I need right at this time.

Daddy knows me well, heh .

And because sat will be off for fun, i needa wrap up this post right here and off for revision.

Byee. Full stop for you , blogger.

We all have mistakes, so why treat it so seriously?

2011-09-09T17:02:00.000+08:00

My friend, my sitting partner, my advicer, my guidance, my laughters...

Alright, I'll believe you. So please stop writing nasty things about me on your fb wall..

I'm not stubborn. I'm not frigging unreasonable.

Because you didn't even tell me what went wrong, what I had done wrong.

Going around telling your friends that I'm stubborn, why you're being so not nice.

Spreading our friendship probs to other people, that wasn't pleasant at all.

And what does it mean, you wasting your time making people believe you?

And what does it mean, you're just posting it randomly so want me ignore it.

Of course in the first place I couldn't bring myself to believe and ignore what you're trying to indicate.

You even said you wish a car will just bang you when you cross the road.

Do you know what you'd just post was very serious??

What if , it really happened and I'm the one who caused your misfortune? Because of me, over a matter, you said out such a no-joking sentence.

And How can you expect me to pretend that nothing had happened after all these?

You're my friend. Friend for years.

When you're pissed , when you're starting to ignore me since last week, how can I not care, not ask?

You said I was thinking too much ,but hello my dear?

You even blurt out my name by accident ,

and you still want to expect me to believe the person who caused you so upset, is not me?

Alright, I shall do as you wish. I won't irritate you any further.

I'll choose to believe you.

I might not know where I had done wrong , so tell me.

Sweet misfortune.

2011-09-06T11:54:00.003+08:00

Be careful of what you say to someone today. Cos tomorrow they may not be here.

And you can't take it back.

Yes, blogging has been getting more and more boring. In fact, to be truthful

I got nothing to do other than facebooking, and this, and checking my twitter and mailbox, really.

Super pathetic right?

That beats why technology is upgrading itself so fast, iPhone, iPad, iPod, iCloud and so on.

Sooner or later, i guess computer and lappys would soon be gone. and replaced by all the i's. (:

And mostly during late noons or evenings, where most of the assignments of the day were done,

my online mode will be switch on.

But seriously, when all these get really super duper bored, i will stupidly browse for anything that i can search for.

Like visiting blogshops' sites, searching for tutorials vids, nutritional facts and products information, to really just to occupy my relaxation time.

My definition of relaxation is no other than sitting there comfortably on technology massage chair with a cup of brewed tea :) plus this internet.

To you guys, it may seemed rather 'no life' and boring, but I had been used to this of mine lifestyle.

To be a little bit more interesting, it'll be a book of my favourite author-Minter (: matching with brewed tea after a cold bath.

Oh, does this sounds wrong? =/ uhm, s'pore is hot so yeah, i usually refresh myself by taking cold baths rather than hot bath.

And at times when I got cranky, it will be ice-cream and teevee.

Or iced coffees with earpiece stuck in my ears.

If weather is good, will be outta for shopping with sis. And this's what I wanna do this weekend, yeah.

As for nights, right at this moment I'm watching this great korean dramashow known as Brillant Legacy.

Aside of that, i normally saved time for housechores and not sure if you know mom-daughter chat?

Yes, it comes naturally when she's free and so do i. am I'm the only teen in a million who does that?

Oh well but it's beneficial , do you guys know that?

Try doing it more often, even if it does feel awkward talking out your own problems and feelings. Because then, your parents will understand you better and

yeah, you will find yourself hardly have conflicts with them.

Isn't it lovely?

Then one whole family will be happy happy always. Aww ;) ♥

Alright, am i spilling out too many beans bout my lifestyle?

Maybe I did. Ooops. Nah they're just too little, many more but i needa off to revise and rest.

HA, too bad. (:

How many friends are there for you when you really needed them?

The healthiest response to life is joy!

2011-09-01T14:53:00.004+08:00

Don't rely or trust people too much because some of 'em suck.

Hey yo! (; Today's teacher's day, ahahaha.

Wishing all tchers here, a very Happy Teacher's Day.

Class part-ied this morning, class photoshot and concert.

Not long ago, you said the same hurtful thing like her the previous years to ME.

And right now, I started to wake up from naivety and learnt : Real true friends are hard to find.

Indeed , it's true.

Only if you're the lucky one amongst the millions people, you'll be able to find yours.

Hey, if you've objection to what I'd just said. Keep it to yourself, don't hav to hate me or argue with me for saying this.

We all know that different people have different thoughts and says, didn't we?

I don't need readers to judge, criticise and vice versa.

So guys, remember do treasure and cherish your families all you can.

There're times where family members are just the best comforters, the most trustworthy and the ones you CAN'T lose.

To simply put it, there will be one day you'll find and realise that my words are true.

Friends are still important cause we know humans can't live without friends.

They're our companions, our fun and laughters.

However, many of the times we neglected the most precious group of people around us and that is, your family, my family.

Which is a gift from God. well, if you don't believe in God, nevermind..

But just know that families are something some unfortunate kids like orphans had long for, yearn for.

And finally, a piece of good advice again- trust no one. Just yourself and well if you've God, okay and just your God. That's all.

I drifted. I wanted to erase my mistakes, my naivety-ness badly.

I'm not a kpop addict or fan. Anw thanks to gwyn, she intro me this song.

Nice rhythm, hmm.

She looks prettier in hazel brown colour hair than blonde. :)

Watch this readers.

Sprinkle me with little heartshapes.

2011-08-26T18:07:00.003+08:00

Siblings are the best comforters, people who you can trust most in this cruel reality.

Hi there.

Badly shaken with bad news this morning.

Went home straight after school to pour all them outta to my sis. I can't help it, I have to.

Gonna burst if I don't.

Was really despair, why things's beginning to turn out like this? WHY.

Lord, can you hear me..

Yes, there's only one word to describe: Insane.

I'm going to become that soon.

But thankfully, she saved me from that. (: Thank sis for understanding and sharing.

How could she understand me so well, i couldn't believe it.

I know many siblings out there aren't like this, where they can do heart-to-heart talk.

And I'm truly grateful to Lord, for giving me sucha wonderful sister 24/7..

Whatever we'd scolded in each other faces, we'll be fine after seconds.

No grudges, no hatred. Just hugs and yeah, having ice-creams together in front of teevee. :)

So it's really relaxing to talk to her, as I could speak openly, don't have to bother to care if she's hurt or not. and vice versa.

Cause we both knew, it's our way of releasing our temper, our stress and so on.

In the end, we forgive and laughed at our silly fights over small matters.

Yes, we do fight and quarrelled most of the days.

But I guessed those were little things that made our relations so close and strong.

Without speaking truth to each other and going through all these bitter moments,

I wondered if our relationship could still be this sweet and lovely..

Till today, we could sit in our room chatting away for a few hours and not noticing we'd a long chatting session. (:

It's really funny having recalling back those times..

Where we can pulled each other hair, threw vulgars , bad remarks at her (she did the same back to me cause hah, we learnt how to use dirty words from each other, idk how we managed to learn that.)

and then after ignoring her for hours, we started talking to each other again. and sometimes without even apologising!

We can seemed to manage forgetting what had happened.

HAHA.

Oh if you were to see this post sis, thankyou for your presence with me all the time.

I love you !

She's my little dwarf, that's what I usually called her at home.

But uh oh , she's almost the same height as me NOW. ):

Many many ♥s,

your future short sister

I can't listen to slow-flowing music right at this moment, cos it'll get me back to depressed mode.

This one is fine. :)

Don't ever do things just to please me, or cos you're feeling sorry to me.

2011-08-25T17:24:00.003+08:00

I wondered if those were ever sincere..

Don't fake it just because you don't want me to be upset.

If you do, you're just aggravating things, isn't it?

Hi, just an average adolescent who don't wish to get heartbreak again.

My Life is short man. I don't want to get rejoice too early because I will never know if you still feel for her.

So I should just shuttup, talk less, think less. And yeah, friends is all we maintained.

Sometimes, your brain is your enemy. I just realised this simple fact which I didn't before.

Our brain tends to run its imagination too far off, causing us to mess things up.

And for whatever so things is, let's not spoil this friendship, yeah audrey?

Today is an unusual day with many many stuffs to blog about. Srlsy.

And strangely, there're days with nothing to tell and yet I still managed to fill up those posts in past.

And right now, I indeed have many issues to post here and yet, I don't know where should I start. Phew, how come?

Okay, prelims. Oh right, (this came to my mind first.)

For christsake, I managed to finish both chi papers. Well, that's good news :)

For English, OH WELL. My fault cause it was screwed, badly ): Let's prepared for the worst, I guess.

Alright, still needa pick myself up and stay positive. Can't be obsessed with sad stuffs all the time

That's my problem really.

My optimistism is transient.

Lord, please keep my mind straight. Cause it's wheezing uncontrolled by itself again..

Sorry to keep this post..you know, crappy and somehow shitty.

Well, I'm just a girl with unbalanced emotions. Forgive me, please.

To cheer you guys up with a little catchy song? :)

P.S. Geez, they're pretty & awesome!

Vomit my life in transition.

2011-08-21T15:25:00.006+08:00

Some things are really better left unsaid.

Some things are really better not to interfere.

Some things are really better if you close your eyes, enjoy the beautiful way things are happening, and letting God to lead the way.

And audrey, some things are really better if you were to stop using your own eyes to judge things , complaining about your awesome life.

Geez. (': Hi.

Had an awfully fun night yesterday, with my dearest sis and gwyn at GLCC.

Our happy times but yet , sad times as well.

Cause mel sis. will be leaving for States tmrw for her further studies..

Though I don't know her much and long but I deeply knew she was indeed a great sis and leader in church.

Much admired.

Of course, we'll wish her the best and yeah, she'll be in my prayer. May God blessings be onto her.

Bon voyage! ;)

And well, truthfully enough I hope more people will call me audrey instead of yanting.

Yeahh, it sounds so wrong. I know that.

Some people might be thinking ( I know you all were, I can read people's minds sometimes)

why I'm suddenly known as audrey. Haha

And yeah, here am I to tell you this today..

It's not a change in name, don't get the wrong idea. but I wondered if you've ever heard of "christian names", this thingy?

No? Nevrmind. (: It's just an addition of name which will go with me for the rest of my life.

How lovely, isn't it?

Frankly, my parents weren't used to this new name since young I was being called 'yanting' over and over again. so yeah, it'd already became an unstoppable habit and they're still in the midst of adapting to this change.

Similarly, my old besties couldn't manage it well too.

Oh if any of you happen to see this post, this isn't a blame to all of you alright. :)

It's totally okay. I can understand :D It's seems way too difficult and I don't want to be hard on anyone of you :)

What I'm trying to say was I do really hope new friends I knew, will start naming me as audrey.

So I would save the trouble of correcting them.

Phew, it'll be sucha problematic thing.

And by the way, just to let you readers know that Audrey has its own meaning and it simply means "Be Strong" .

After praying and long time of discussions with my mum and dad, I personally chose this name because its significant meaning and being strong is what I truly hope to carry with me for my life ahead.

I guessed this's what God has given me. Many many thanks to Him!

In my opinion, there may be many many other beautiful names out there, umm some were unique ones whereas some were common ones..

But what matters most, is the meaning it carried. ♥

And every name will have its own meaning so remember to check out yours !

And God bless you.

You're made special, gal.

2011-08-16T20:06:00.005+08:00

Working hard towards your goal might be tough

But it'll be worthwhile ahead!

Oh, let's praise our dearest God first alright. :)

He's great, awesomee and miracle-ful. SRLSY.

What can be more beautiful than his presence, his words to your heart? Nope, there isn't any.

O'lvl oral went really alright, much better than I thought.

Was honestly anxious all over in the first place, wondering if the British lady will ever understand my sayings or not.

Imagination went SUPER wild and I was really blinking hard and the only thing I left to do, was to pray.

Deep down my heart, I know clearly I can do anything, whatever is given to me.

Because God's with ME. What else I have to be afraid of? And why should I?

Past 4 years in this secondary school, what all of us have done, have put in , have strive for, weren't just for THIS BATTLEFIELD?

All these years of efforts and spirits, and soon we'll have to fight for what's ours.

Right? :D

So now, it's over. I don't dare to think of the outcomes. But there's one thing I'm sure of, that is my faith will always kept me striving forward and going for the extra mile.

Right now,

One stress is down! Phew, sucha relief.

And very soon, more battlefield to enter, OH YEAH?

Alright, i'll be fine. i'll be strong :))

Thks Lord, you're simply indescribable ♥

Until you've ask me, I'll answer.

2011-08-14T10:14:00.005+08:00

Hey yo, I loved this place: Venice!

Only few people will agree with me, I know. But it's lovely! :)

If you were to google Venice, there'll be really much more beautiful photos.

Well, to me Venice was known through when Ms tan was teaching us on the chapter of Venice.

Yeahh, i know it sounds wrong.

But well, Venice is truly indescrible! Really.

And you wanna know SOMETHING?

LET'S MOVE HERE RIGHT AWAY. :D HAHA, i'm joking. (>This is lame -.-)

It's located in Italy which has always been my dream country.

Whether for visting or migrating, I would definitely loved to go!

Places that's in Italy, whether is Rome, Paris, Venice (: and more, it's simply hard to inhibit !

I'll pray hard that one day I'll be there to see it's beautiful scenery, the waters and bridges.

Oh yes, and the boats. I shall have a ride on that.

Woots, awesomee! Haha :')

There's no point denying when your heart actually still beats for somebody

Maybe yes, I still do...

I'm contented. I won't ask for more.

2011-08-12T16:56:00.006+08:00

I just learnt that happy days don't last long, so do bad days.

Be strong whatever strikes upon you.

Hey guys. Today has been a fruitful and productive day indeed.

Had managed to complete chemistry paper within an hour in school :')

Kept practising my oral for english since tues i'll have to enter my battlefield.

Hopefully nothing goes wrong that day and examiner won't be nasty, yeah.

Crossed fingers.

As for next thurs, I don't really know if it's a nightmare or you-are-so-happy-that-your-eyes-stay-wide-forever thing.

Right now till then, my heart'll be drum rolling like forever,

waiting for chinese O'level results to be release.

Yeah, it'll be out on thurs.

Gotta take a deep breath and truly hope I won't faint.

Deeply, I always knew God's with me. Even if something went wrong, like shitz i'll be alright.

i'll be strong and fine.

I shadn't worry too much anyway.

Oh well, have said something i long wanted to say today. Though there's somemore I wanted to know, to say but I know one can't be too greedy.

Yes, all I have was that few minutes. But it's already enough for me. I shadn't greed.

Thankyou for at least we did some talking. & God you too ♥

And that's it. I don't wish to elaborate more of that, I'm satisfied with the little things I've received today.

Tmrw will be stormy or sunny, I would not know.

But there's one thing I'm sure, is I'm going to smile, endure and praise my dear Jesus for everything.

Why so serious eh? ;)

Words can kill, don't you know that?

2011-08-08T19:50:00.004+08:00

You can break all you want, all you like.

But here's a piece of advice to you:

Be careful of what you said to someone cause not every girl is so strong as you,

can take so much blow like you.

You came along this route too, his words hurt you before.

So you would probably knows how one's words can cut a wounded heart deeply, how much tears have to fall in return for all that impact you've created.

Your one push-those words , I fell.

And right now, do you know hard it is to stand up once again while picking those broken heart pieces, hoping to stick them back?

Having to find solutions, many many many ways to mend it back,

cracking my brain cells and scratching my head over and over again, trying to figure out how to be okay, alright and fine again.

Losing sleep night after night, trying to push bad thoughts away.

Crying hard in my pillow. Waking up the next day with swollen eyes,

and then again having to find ways to reduce the swollenness.

Having no one to teach me , I learnt to be strong the hard way.

I was previously all well, all good, almost okay.

In a split second, you're the reason why it is all shattered .

Smile and never let anyone to bring you down.

2011-08-06T17:54:00.006+08:00

Start living for yourself and Jesus.

Don't cry because they left. Smile because they have given you an opportunity to find someone BETTER.

Hey guys! I'll be blogging a bit for today..

It's kinda of bored staying at home facebook-ing and eating ice-cream.

And to keep myself busy so no more thinking about nonsense stuffs. (I'll be fine soon)

So yeah, I thought of coming back awhile to prevent my site from rotting like previous time :)

Time has flies so fast, lika roller coaster.

I'll be having my prelims soon at the end of this month, ):

and afterwards, it'll be my O's!

What a life.

Oh well, s'pore national day is on tues. And as for monday, schools are having celebrations on that.

So all of us have to wear either red or white tops with sch skirts.

What's my say about that?

Uhm, well can we wear pe shorts and white shorts instd? :/

Nvermind, no teachers are going to allow that , like it's going to happen.

And tues and wed are breaks , all away from schooling.

Just what I need.

Even though many problemos have been happenning recently, which kept me emotionally down and sick & tired.. I had enough of all that.

but probably i will be able to throw away these probs and relax a little on mon.

Let's say if possible, gwyn and myself would be going out to hang out

and also i would be helping her with some of her prelims' revisions.

OMG Yay! :)

And that would be after the boring sch celebration :>

And yeah, we're in the midst of discussing about that.

And right now, time to offline and meet my some of my homeworks. wink.

Song of my day:

I've no position to say anything to you, to stop you or to have you all by myself.

2011-07-31T19:27:00.003+08:00

Today is going to be a new beginning where my heart will stop beating for you.

There's so much more to say, to explain, to tell it all to you.

But even there's chance to, will you ever stop and approach me so to listen to me?

Nope.

Cause there's you and her.

Even if time gave its way to both of us, you probably won't be willing, am I right?

And it's so sad, sucha waste.. cos I have so much more more more to say.

I'm afraid I may become another person once this post is wrapped up,

perhaps those smiles would fade, and I would no longer be the friend you once knew.

Because after all this crap have happened, I couldn't pretend I don't care.

I couldn't pretend I'm okay ,

I am tired. I cannot fix it.

2011-07-30T17:26:00.005+08:00

I am about to shut down when she said ,

and the photo of you both on the beach.

I was earlier debating with myself whether to post today or not to.

I knew I had not blog for quite some time as due to my packed schedule.

And today wasn't awesome, was spoilt by some truths told by a friend.

She was a nice girl but the whole thing I had heard was not at all pleasant.

I couldn't been more upset.

Frankly, i couldn't pretend we had said nothing today when deeply inside, I cared.

And worse come to worse, I feel like I have been cheated.

Those are my feelings, which contained purely my pride and dignity.

And right now, I'm left with nothing. Just like an empty shell you picked by the shore, it is EMPTY.

I could barely feel nothing right now, all numb and sore.

Perhaps was due to the repitition of your uncared-ness towards me and with some toppings of your lies.

Thanks for telling me all this, girl.

With my sincere thankyou.

Your truth had made me realised I had blindly gave my heart to someone who didn't cherish me at all.

So this person isn't worth my tears even if I feel like crying over this matter.

How silly am I.

Misunderstanding, miscommunications

2011-07-15T17:10:00.003+08:00

The ending we don't want.

And now, time for a Fairytale

2011-07-07T17:00:00.004+08:00

Dearest God, is my fairytale going to end soon?

Hey there! This is it, I was having a hard time finding a pic that could express my feelings today.

Today's seemed great, because I know my dad was going to bring my little cute idiot and me to ..

TA-DAH! Universal Studio this weekend :)

Hallelujah!! Imma so looking forward to it, hahaha (;

Earlier on, I was yearning so much to go for it. And now is it !

Thankss Lord!

However, at the same time, I had a flu today. And a terrible RUNNING NOSE

That kept flowing non-stop like a water tap, y'knw? ):

I was really feeling unwell today and all those lessons I had today, I guess only 30 percent went into my head whereas everything else just went not asborbing in my brain.

Worse of all, I'm having a physics diagnostic test tmrw.. sigh.

But here am I, acho-ing and typing at the same time D:

Jesus bless me.

And for rest of emotional matters, i shall let it rest on God's hands.

Honestly, it's been a long long long while, I still haven't sort them out properly..

I think I have difficulties in handling 'feelings' stuffs :))

And that's it.

I only blog so to keep my soul not suffocated with probs, yeah.

Love only waits for one thing, the right moment.

2011-07-01T18:13:00.004+08:00

Was being friends like this way?

Seeing me walking by and pretending you don't see me.

Hello guys, it's been a while since I'm here.

You know, school was unbreatheable. Had a geog test yesterday, honestly i think i did badly.

Urggh, I could only expect for the worst yeah?

Hopefully , with God everything turns out fine..

Frankly, I think I'm stubborn. A dull and boring girl and most of times, anti-social.

I appeared to be decent, studious..However, sometimes I wished I could change myself.

Not for anyone sake, but I hoped to be a girl of what I have always wanted to be.

I deeply wished I could change my point of view towards love, friends and life.

I wished I could be like much stronger than right now, just like some other girls out there.

With strong confidence and leading a not-much-problems life; without problems appearing one by one in my face.

I wanted to be a girl who could possibly and easily get the things she wanted, badly.

I was greedy, with high expectations for myself and perfect dreams set in my mind.

I wanted so much more, even the whole universe, I wished I could have all of it.

Filled with so many hopes and desires,

that I couldn't possibly put them into words.

My mind contradicts with you all people's mind , I agreed with something that nobody thinks it's something that can be agreeable.

I'm sensitive to certain things where all of you don't.

I laughed at things which people don't.

I did things which people normally wouldn't.

I see things differently from you everybody.

At times, I wondered why would I born on this planet where most of the times, I can't blend in and I don't fit into places. No matter how hard I tried.

I couldn't. I just can't..

Most of the times, I tried to kept positive towards EVERYTHING I FACED.

But sooner or later, the positive feeling in me flew away.

Or was it me who did not secure it safely inside?

And readers, what I had just wrote, if it really dampened your spirit or mood of the day,

please excuse me.

Because I don't think I can possibly live through today

without writing them down here.

I couldn't possibly ignore this terrible , horrible feeling I'm getting right now.

But I also couldn't find anyone else to speak to.

This is why I had to blurt it out.Right.Here.

And.It's.all.about.things.that.keep.me.not.moving.

I shouldn't have kept my butt sticking right here.

I think your friends knew about everything and the girl-me already.

And I guess, all of them hated me for hurting you this badly or making you suffered.

And because I appeared to be stronger than you, I gained no sympathy and you did.

I was hurting as much as you and no one gives a shit.

Problems're caused by MISCOMMUNICATIONS.

2011-06-27T15:34:00.004+08:00

Have you ever think if all your hopes amount to nothing in the end,

and they were stymied by sheer miscommunications?

It would be a total agonising nightmare..

Hey guys, that's what exactly happened..

And moreover, it's pointless to blabble on them already.

It's just my theme of my post today.

Well, not really.. But it's what was going on my mind just now.

First day of school wasn't that bad as I thought anyways (: so it's a good start, isn't it?

Great and wonderful, thanks Lord.

Saw gwyn and soonmin today, have missed them very much indeed (;

However, we didn't get to have our lunch together cause I was booked..

Yeah, booked. Hahah, by ms chia. And

Surprisingly enough, there's was none workloads however, i'm sure there's plenty for TMRW.

Surely there will be. I have to really prepare for it ! Urghh !

:) HA.

Oh well, what's else? Hmmm, frankly i think there's nothing much for today, cause what happened in school was usually very usual stuffs, so this post will be shorter, I guess.

And ohhh dear, next week will be mother tongue oral examinations.

Hmph, time files by so fast..

That's a very very SAD THING, YOU KNOW? );

I think I've been blogging crap all this while, am I right readers?

HMM okay. Since right now, I have nothing to continue to blog then I shall let the music do the saying.. alright? :)

It's a pretty nice song !

11.11 wasn't true, guys..

2011-06-21T10:59:00.006+08:00

No, you're not at wrong. I took our conversations, your sweet texts, the compliments & our amazing moments for granted. My bad.

Guess what. My sis didn't go out of town with us , she insisted not to. And so yeah, I eventually gave in.

But, that's fine :)

Mum and I did a great time shopping at robinson and bought some stuffs. I got myself a purse :)

After shopping, had an awful backache when I get home.

But it was all okay again after my goody goody SALONPAS. Teehee !

Salonpas was so good, you know guys? :) I was all well the next day :3

And yes, that's how my that day went.

Actually guys..I wanted to type those things- emotional things today so BADLY. I nearly type it out a while ago.

However, then I remembered my promise to you guys :) So, I will not share them with you.

I believed those were just things to put you down on your best days, isn't it so?

'We spent too much time wondering why we're not good enough,

and We spent too much time putting ourselves down that's why we never get to see the positives.'

This quote was written by a lovely girl named stephanie. I was browsing through twitter

and this caught my eyes. And what it said, reflects me.

And it was so damn true :)

And so, we shouldn't be caught up in things which makes us sad.

Guys, have you all ever wondered if 11.11 is true or not..?

I have and did had a thought over this question.

Well , many people believed in it and a handful of them didn't. You can considered me as the handful ones.

Let us consider the following questions..

Did you know who was the person who says 11.11 is real and able to make your wishes come true..?

Did you all really know it's true or you just believe in what the crowd believed in?

If you once make a wish at 11.11 and it came true, have you ever thought who made your wish came true..?

If you say it was 11.11 that listened to your wishes, are you saying 11.11 is the God of wishes?

And if you reply maybe, hmm does it make sense praying to 11.11 , your wishes will come true?

And guys, these are all the basic questions we have to think about it. I mean, it's natural for human beings like me and you to find out what is true to believe in and what's not so true to believe in, right?

Everybody around you says the time 11.11 is where you can make a wish.

However, have you really think about it, why would God make 11.11 the only time for us to make our wish?

God, who is God?

He is the one who always listen to our prayers, rants, complains, gossips and stuffs like that.

He is always the listener.

And He's available 24/7 to hear our wishes and our sufferings.

So let us think again, why would God make 11.11 and not other time for us to make our wishes?

If you were to ask me, why I don't believe in 11.11 , I will tell you it's because I rather believe in God who can listen to me anytime, anywhere than 11.11 where one minute isn't enough for my list of says.

To believe in 11.11 or not does not implies that you are wrong or right. This's just a belief of individuals and there's no right or wrong for believing in this.

Maybe after reading my post, you'll still wait for 11.11 to appear every single day.

Or maybe, you are like me, who will stop believing and chose to believe in mighty God up in the sky.

And it is all about your choices, your beliefs. (:

Lastly, this song is just AWESOME TTM ! (;

Christina grimmie was just so great, thumbs up for her!

There's still a tiny hope, I believe.

2011-06-20T11:54:00.007+08:00

We should try over again. But are you willing to?

If I walk, would you run?

If I stop, would you come?

If I say you're the one, would you believe me?

If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way?

Tell me what to say so you don't leave me.

The world is catching up to you

While you're running away to chase your dream

It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change

And maybe I'm not ready

But I'll try for your love

I can hide up above

I will try for your love

We've been hiding enough

Restart my heart.

2011-06-13T16:36:00.004+08:00

We both have never let each other go before, we knew that very well.

Didn't we?

Hello my dearest readers,

Just came back from school just now, had an english consultant session with ms chia (;

Will be meeting her again next week. Coolios.

Hmm well, what did you guys did the past few days? Did you went to catch some movies..?

Or was busy working to earn money?

I did spent my holis at a very relaxing pace which indeed was a good thing for me.

Because normally when school lessons resume, I barely had time for leisurement and rest.

That's why june holis have always been my luxury. HA. They're my best friends.

:')

However, sadly I don't think I spend it wisely enough. Till now, school homeworks are not yet finished.

How annoying are they! Pffft..

I still preferred revisions than homeworks. Really. I swear.

Oh well, but I still gotta finish them fast.

As for tomorrow, mummy will be bringing me and my little sister out to city for shopping.

Oh great :D

Hahah, but my little sister just saw what I'm typing here.

And now, she's making a big fuss about she didn't want to go tomorrow.

She wanna stay at home because she don't want to get sunlight, cause UV RAYS ARE BAD FOR HER SKIN.

SHE WANTS HER SKIN TO REMAIN WHITE! ):

Hey, what's this? :/

Nevermind about this cute little idiot of mine, she'll go tomorrow. I'M SURE. :)

I'll think of some ways to make her go. wink !

Hahaha , Let's wait and see ! (;

Byebye!

Phew! We have a damn warm weather these few days :'/

So remember to drink more water and try to stay indoor like my little sister did !

Calls disconnecting.

2011-06-09T12:25:00.004+08:00

Let our hearts be disconnected just like our calls.

Dearest readers, I've only slept four hours last night.

I couldn't be more serious.

And right now, I don't feel sleepy at all. which is even bad because it seems I have some

sort of problem.

I know I have thinking and going back too much lately

that's why I beginning to have difficulties falling alseep.

I know, readers..All my posts I've posted were so unlike me, too emotional.

But I promise from today onwards, I will stop being like this EVER AGAIN.

Sometimes, I can't stand myself either.

Oh well, I've visited SM's bloggie earlier, we went out to watch Kungfu Panda Two..

Which was absolutely AWESOME (:

There's some pictures of us and if you're curious, why not take a look at it? :D

http://oathof-foreverlove.blogspot.com/

The 3D version was overwhelming, thumbs up.

And if you haven't watch it, I could tell you it's worth watching.

Okay, so what else? I feel like there's so much more to say to you readers but my fear of ranting over some nonsense stuffs stop me again from typing a long post.

It's lunchtime now, so I'm going to wrap up this post but first, I want to share this song with you guys.

I don't like kpop or neither I'm in love with them. However, I came across this song just now while browsing youtube. And it's quite a nice song, I would say.

Jesus bless you all !

If a girl says, she'd moved on=she missed you.

2011-06-09T00:26:00.005+08:00

Like I say, the brightest flames burned left the deepest scars..

Time check, currently now's 12.37am and here am I blogging (:

I don't feel sleepy , maybe it's because I'd slept two hours during evening.

Well, something is troubling me right now. Yeah..

You can ask me what's up? And it's because of today will be a person's birthday..

But should I send a text and wish..?

Or an email..?

Or should I pretend today's (9th june) isn't any big deal, huh? :/

What should I do?

This question kept replaying in my mind, and my heart too..

Perhaps this was why I couldn't sleep right now.

Hmmmmm.

But will you reply if I did?

I think you've changed your number, haven't you?

Because I've tried many times contacting you and I got no reply.

Or you didn't want to reply, did you?

To You:

I think if you came across my blog, you might have read what I have typed above..

Happy birthday to you..

From the bottom of my heart, wished you'll be happy and healthly always..

I'll prayed tonight to Jesus, to watch over you and bless you..

Sorry I couldn't say all these face to face to you,

or text you all these wishes ..

I love you, my friend as I always said.

All the best in everything you do from today onwards,

You know? I will be there standing far away watching and silently pray for you .

Until next time we meet,

Goodluck..

Jesus, please bless this friend and heal this friend.

Goodbyes doesn't hurt, flashbacks does.

2011-06-07T09:54:00.009+08:00

Grandpa, I will miss you. And I love you too.

Hi dearest readers, just received a phonecall from penang earlier ,

And it was mummy, she sounded so moody and 'grandfather had passed away last night at 1opm..' seemed like had been forced out from her mouth.

A tinge of sadness enveloped me, ): I nearly tear but didn't though.

Mom and Dad were currently attending church camp at penang,

but sister and me stayed at local cause of my O'level this year.

However, sadly this funeral have to be held today, so mom and dad gotta cancelled their 5-days trip and fly to KL, to attend this funeral..

The money spent on the trip was all wasted, it's a pity.

At the start, I was asking God, " Why? Why at this time? where my parents were happily on their holiday's trip? "

But as I know, God wouldn't give me an answer on that.

Because He's a God, and what He did must have a reason behind it..

Even so, my heart was complaining God just now.

And right now, my sis and I have to stay here cause mom said she had no time to rush back here to fetch us there.

And so, which made me even more upset as I couldn't even take a look at my grandfather..

And they'll probably back this weekend, sigh.

)':

I just realised, I had lost both my grandfather and they both passed away this year.

One is because of accident while this's because of sickness.

So right now, I only left with two grandma..

I guessed mom would be terribly upset with this than anyone else, hope she'll hang in there and be healthly !

God, please watch over my mom and bless her at the same time.

This goes the same to all my relatives in KL as well .

"Grandpa, I will miss you. And I loved you too" should have said this when he's still there..

My sadness flows along with this song

Nobody remember your great work.

2011-06-04T11:10:00.005+08:00

Imma sad. That's all.

All those days of wearing a faked smile. And now, I'm tired of it..

I am a emotional girl, impatient and with high expectations for myself.

If you don't know me well enough, you should just skipped off this post.

Once failure, my confidence has crashed completely.

Lord, why my prayers didn't work? Or was it me, my own fault to blame on?

I often worry so much and put in so much effort,

but what had I got in the end?

Once beaten by the rest, my faith is no longer there.

My back is heavy with burden, pressure.

And everybody said it's normal.

But I don't think so.

Among the failures, I did something great and deserved to be rewarded.

But I didn't..

Now, what I have already done, I have began to look in the other way.

That is, i'm simply useless to do anything right now.

To prove I'm not useless again, my back should be fill up with much more workloads.

And it's easy to say, but difficult to task it on.

Talk is cheap, only action is not.

I shouldn't complain and with God's strength, I'm brave enough to overcome the big waves ahead of me.

And no matter how tough it will be, I'm strong enough to stand up every step I stumbled.

I must.

My heart exploded at 'hi'

2011-06-02T16:56:00.009+08:00

I saw sunshine and heard rocking waves on beach cause God had opened my eyes and ears to witness how beautiful my life actually is.

Hello guys! winkwink.

How was your day? (;

I'm good , very fine indeed. And yeah, I won't blog in chinese again. Hahah.

O'level mother tongue paper 2 went well

but paper 1 did left me with tiny regrets..

Due to the limited time I have, I couldn't finish my last essay in time. What a waste !!

I went home and rant my anger, pouring all them out to mummy.

But I was comforted and told, " If you had done your best, what's left for you to regret?

Leave the rest to God , he'll take care of everything, won't he? "

It may seemed such a waste when you know how to do but, you can't complete it.

However, mom was right, since I have given my best what's more to frown about it?

What was done was already done.

So, let's put on a smile and continue walking :)

This whole week was remedial remedial and remeedial. HA. Tiresome plus boredom.

But we can't don't have any, results come with hardwork.

We all know that..

And we don't have a proper june holidays like others, cause it was overtaken by homeworks and revision :)

Still , I wanted to thank God, he has given me a great mother.

Who was always there to encourage me, gave me advice and taught me what is wrong and right for a teenager, supporting and prayed for me almost everytime.

That's what I liked being at home.

There's comfort, love , secureness and shelter where the outside world doesn't contain.

For me, outside world was a cruel, unmerciful, un-loved place.

Where you won't find any long-lasting things.

People who're not your families, are often like a fragile glass.

If you treated them nicely, they will remained as beautiful memories in your heart.

But once you hurt them, is equally the same when you broke a fragile glass, its shattered pieces will in turn cut you back.

And hence, there's no 'Home' like the home you're living in right now.

Which was a gift humans often forgot to be thankful for.

Shower me with stars.

2011-05-21T13:03:00.012+08:00

God, it's you who picked me up when I fell terribly.

嗨 ! 昨晚, 阿姨打来, 说外公进了医院.

在没办法之下, 妈咪必须赶回马国去. 大概会待续两三天吧.

从而也让我明白公公的病情是有多么严重, 愿请求上帝来保守他.

我想今天就写到这里, 还有许多东西要办呢 !

待一会儿要读昨天借来的故事.. 啊, 还有作业要完成咯.

可是, 其实是一份挺容易的作业啦, 只要写大纲就好 !

哈哈, 再见咯 !

Press on girl , don't give up that little faith in you.

Song of my day-

Say hello and goodbyes.

2011-05-19T17:27:00.005+08:00

So near yet, so far away.

你好！对不起哦，我想这一段日子我大摡会用华文来写作吧。

‘O‘ 水准很快就要到了，所以就当这是个练习吧。（：

老实说，时间真的如流水，一去不回头。

所以我一定要好好把握时间。

最近，我脑海里都想了许多事情。。真流连忘返啊。

一大堆的问題一时间涌上心头，而我只能向上帝呼求。。）：

同时也很沮丧。唉！

昨天遇见了他，心里开始混乱了起来。唉，我是多么难过的.

但是，有人说过, 把昨天当作天空的字吧，尽管格外的字体是描写得漂亮。。

也把昨天当成一插曲吧，尽管曲子是多么优美啊！

你们说是不是呢?

因为毕竟它只是人生的一种经历：）

英文表示: Smile at the past. Don't easily cry over it, make it a lesson learnt.

Don't change it or force it to your expectations, because what's gone is already gone.

也就是说,　不要勉强．顺其自然吧．．

我只想说,　我过的很好．

虽然，失去了你，但日子还是得过下去．

我也真切地希望你也可以快乐地活下来.

不要伤心难过，忘了我吧！

You want me to let you go?

2011-05-11T14:05:00.005+08:00

People cry, not because they're weak.

It's because they've been strong for too long.

Hai again.

Yay, tmrw left with mother tongue listening compre :)

and every subjects' had been over, i'm soo relieved. Ha.

Well, physics paper didn't go that well today.. was I tired or something?

uhmm. didn't managed to complete part C and D!

Pfttt..

Oh, it's okay! :D yeah, i have to keep positive.

God'll surely send his big blessings over me, I'm sure.

And praise Him as well, as for other papers, they went quite good, i would say.

Heehee ;)

but..silent sigh again.

Readers, I seriously have too much problems unsolved..too many troubles to worry about.. ):

All these have to do with Humans. I swear.

Why friends are always such a problem to everybody? don't get it.

Actually, I don't wish to talk about all these burden anymore..

I'm sorry though, i guess this blog of mine had became the

top world 'most emotional' blog.

Well , maybe there's others out there which were more emotional than mine, so yeah

Sigh sigh, i need to take a deep breath.

Phew.

My family was great. My daily life was great. And my God was great :)

The only thing that wasn't was..

Relationship stuffs.

That was total terrible, i meant hard to handle. I couldn't managed to do well enough for that area.

Or maybe was I thinking too much again?

Umm yeah. maybe I was.. yeah, I think so.

Okay.

I shall gave the matter to God to decide once again :)

Whatever my problem is, will be God's problem as well. He will take care of everything.

I don't want to bother anymore.

Tiresome.

Honestly, to people who also encounter the same ugly problems as me, here's my advice:

Just look upon God, when people around you disappoint you.

If you have no God, then look up in the sky.

I'm hundred percent serious. Just do it. It's harmless.

Then look yourself in the mirror and say,

'I love myself . ' and smile big big!

Here's a song to describle my unpleasant day:

Letting go wasn't something that anyone else could easily do.

If you could, I could only humbly admit that I couldn't..

I wanted to, the thing is, my heart wants you to stay.

But I don't know how to say..

And if you have made up your mind and ready to let me go completely,

it's alright. i'll be fine.

God has told us not to hold onto the past and taught us to move on..

Perhaps you can do it but I'm sorry. I couldn't bring myself to leave you, not missing you.

Really sorry, I can't do it..

If the way I'm being like this hurts you more, then please come and teach me how to let my love ones go.

I am willing to learn humbly from you :)

If all these things I had wrote, made you think that I'm selfish..

That made you think that I only cared about myself..

Then, I want you to know that I'm hurting as much as you're hurting now.

Do you think I wanted to feel like this..??

The last time, you made your stand and said it's impossible for the both of us..

Sparing a thought for you, let's be friends. that's what I said.

Didn't you said okay..?

I want to explain clearly, that I'm not possesive.okay?

In the first place, you took no effort at all..

You showed me you wasn't interested at all.

No texts, no phone calls. Shouldn't you know that these are all the basic stuffs..?

Upset, disappointments..because of you. But I decided to pushed aside all those feelings for the sake of you.

I don't hope to spoil everything..

For V day, I gave you something..

To show you I love and care for you.

So, am I selfish..? Did you spare a thought for me too?

Till now, it's over..

Broken hearts are hard to mend. However,

I still cared for you, sent texts to you asking how are you.

Have been a few times, but you didn't even reply me one..

Again, upset, disappointments.. But, nevermind it's okay! :) I told myself and God.

I will try more till you reply..

So tell me, am I still selfish..?

If you fellow friends think I was, In God's eyes, if I was selfish , you're actually more selfish than me.

It makes sense , right?

But I love you with all my heart and all. So I don't judge you like that.. (:

Even though I had to try for ten years, I'm willing to do.

Even though you made me upset again, it's still fine with me :)

You want me to let you go?

Sorry, my heart couldn't..

Summernight.

2011-05-09T11:14:00.006+08:00

If I could talk to you for 5 minutes

tomorrow, the other 86,395 would be perfect.

HI.

How's you? I wanted to ask you..

Hope you're doing really fine :')

Okays. Tomorrow'll be having geo paper. Ha, hope I will do better ever.

Well well well, i seriously don't like the fact of opposition winning Hougang

since I'm living here for the next few years only.

They're only sweet talker number one, aren't they?

So complacent when they're up on the teevee, duh !

Nvermind about that, it's not really that important to me.

This week would be the last week of exams,

and afterwards, O'level mother tongue paper will be arriving.

:) I'll smile for that!

Shall keep positive for every obstacles.

And shall overcome them by all means.

Yesterday was Mother's Day. winkwink.

However, we all celebrated on fri in advance :D

Funny thing was we celebrated yesterday again. Had a cake-cutting after dinner time :)

Sounds so wrong, isn't it?

HAHA.

I love my mummy ! ;) don't you?

Alrightie, shall stop right here. Will promise to post again. if I had time, ya?

Revision is more important.

Oh, red wine taste good .

I wish you the best too..

2011-05-02T11:22:00.005+08:00

You meant everything to me.

But I didn't know how to make you stay, because you're just like a gust of wind

It's hard to catch..

Hihi, tmrw will have school again. Plus mother tongue papers (:

Jesus bless me ! :)

Readers, do you know smth?

Sometimes, it's so difficult to let something to go..well, even if you do,

there're times where you got these symptoms of missing them..

and you began to feel so hopeless

and all you did was to let your mind to take over control of your day.

Images kept flashing and you began to wonder what's wrong with yourself again.

I guessed this happened to everybody , right?

But that's no good.

So bothering, annoying and..you wanted to go MENTAL HOSPITAL so badly.

Maybe to seek for some treatment or cure.

Won't you..?

Hmmm, I think I should better get myself a choco bar.

Tast and yummy will perhaps keep me off thinking about..

Byeees..

I'm not feeling well again.

Melody of love can go out of tune too!

2011-04-30T20:17:00.005+08:00

Hang in there, girl. All these hardwork will be worthwhile!

Hey there. I'm in the midst of trial exams now. BOOKS AND NOTES.

What for? Oh, they're for revision. HA.

OOH, pressure is crashing onto me.

A broken heart is like

A broken mirror

It is better to leave it broken than to

Hurt yourself trying to fix it

Well, I have already let it go. Why can't you?

I've said and promised not to force things ahead , so we both won't have to suffer.

In the text,

You said okay with a smile, didn't you?

Then. Now what? You said you couldn't let me go..?

I don't wish to see you hurt..

I believed you wish for me too.. So

why say couldn't let all these things go and let nature take its course?

why couldn't you let destiny decides the two of us? why not then?

Sigh.

Please don't miss me. Please, we shadn't force it since we both take no effort at all.

I love you, my friend (:

I do.

Oh well, monday's labour day! Woohoo.

It's great, isn't it? I will have one extra day to revise, yay! ;)

Hmm. Who invented labour day?! Heh, Thanks so much!

Praise the Lord for everything.

All those papers went smoothly because of Him!

I managed to finish them on time. I hope I will do well this time..

Let's cross our fingers, ha ha.

Because God you lives, I can face tomorrow :)

Because You lives, all fear is gone.

Because I know, I know you holds my future.

And my life is worth living

Because You lives.

A few years back, I wanted to die. so badly, i'm serious.

But it was God, who make my life interesting.

It was Him, who gave me back my life. who bless me abundantly. who loved me

WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

UNCONDITIONALLY.

Without him, I would have die..perhaps in a car accident or something..if you had read my blog two years ago.

I probably would have jumped or slit myself.

But in the church service, it was Him who saved me with His words.

Through the pastor's preaching.

They touched me, and awoken me from my stubbornness of suicide.

He made me realised that my life is precious.

my life is worthy.

my life is worth living even though at times it was toxicating and unbearable.

Also, he made me realised that I was stupid in some sense that..

Hey, why would I want to end my life! You know? something like that..

And I was happy today. Even recently there's so much things happening.

There was.. bad and yeah, good stuffs..

But, I appreciated God for his blessings and watch over.. I was.

Often, I told myself to remain positive beacuse God is with me all the times!

He was such a wonderful God, do you know?

Indeed, he was.

And..

lastly, this is a song for my day!

Some people are simply jealous of what they don't have.

2011-04-22T11:48:00.004+08:00

I don't like to hang along with people who feel jealous easily..

Happy Good friday and Easter day! (:

Hurray there's no school for today! So great, I could have the day to do some effective revision.

Well, will not be go church for today );

They're having the good friday event thingy but the thing is,

Mon is english paper, tues is syf already..

Time flies by so quickly and I began to feel insecure already.

God bless me, I shouldn't. I hope everything goes well.

Nothing much to say, and yup I thought of sharing a music video once again.

It's by Taylor swift.

Oh well, maybe this week shall be a taylor swift's season.

Her songs just fit right into my emotions..

I don't quite know where to start to blog,

neither what should I post about.

Feelings? well, i have tons of them. So it's pointless to ramble about it.

School stuffs? Ha, it makes me feel numb. I don't feel like talking about it either..

So I will let the song do the sayings then.

Enjoy, ok?

The thing is, I guessed I can live without you already.

And I'm thinking about you less often.

And I'll be over you soon..

Stay strong :)

2011-04-16T13:16:00.004+08:00

Why things can't be simple again, like they were in kindergarden?

People are selfish, not selfless.

People are racist, and not racial harmony.

People are judgemental.

People love others when others love them.

People be friends with only people they like.

People don't reply your text when they don't feel like it.

People are simply sinners.

Well, it's so true.. Human beings are capricious creatures.

We're ever changing creatures.

Oh, awesome guitar ensemble's gonna perform on tues !

During the morning assembly.. (:

We ROCK. And we shall give our best, especially the soloist!

Not forgetting the rest members too.

Go guitar go!

I need to hurry up. to finish those homeworks.

I shall go practise my guitar later..

Hmm, actually have nothing to blog about.

This week was okay :)

At least I still survive. Thank God for everything.

He has been a great help!

Goodbyes.

I CARED !

2011-04-12T22:43:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, I told myself that it's okayy to be nerd.

Hey. Wait.

See that title heading above? SEEN?

Yeah, maybe you won't read my blog. I guessed.

But you know what. I CARED. I DO. OKAY.

Who says I don't? Who told you that? WHO?

Was it one of your friends? WAS IT?

And who's that dumb??

Or. It was you instinct, uh?

Ohhh. dear ! You won't believe my heart, will you..?

I cared.

got it?

I just didn't show it out.

Time will.

Little thoughts about you.

2011-04-11T21:30:00.003+08:00

But we were all too scared to say the things worth saying.

Today wasn't the best. Vectors test suck :x

I hated myself for not practising harder on that chapter. HUH.

Well, anyways it's has been over already. It's pointless to brag it any further.

Just practised my guitar. I have to cause syf's is nearing soon!

Oh dear, I'm sooo scared!

It'll be held on the coming 26th. Argh.

So stress and presurized, see.

Phew, no problem. I can do it :)

That's right, I should keep it up. to stay positive at all times !

Oh right. Got to buck up.

Left with geo and physics hmwks now. Have to finish them quickly.

So I can turn in early tonight :D

Wait.

Orianthi's songs was below this post.

If you haven't hear, enjoyy!

It's a great song, well.. to me lah.

I really hope you won't give up on me. I really do.

Cause I haven't.

My perfect life.

2011-04-09T17:15:00.003+08:00

DJ, KICK IT.

Hi, this music was nice . So I thought about sharing it with you, guys.. :)

Enjoy!

Please don't ever ignore me, darling.

2011-04-08T22:03:00.005+08:00

I'm trying to be a better person.

Though today's oral went smoothly. Erm, no.. Correct me, it went well indeed ! :)

Thank God for that. He's great you know? Ha. You don't know.

Mmh, I really have no mood for anything funny today.

Emotionally. I'm not good.

I'm just having a thousands feelings and thoughts about stuffs which were totally absurd.

And I think my life have getting senseless day by day..

HUH.

I think.. I think.. I'm goin to break down soon.

Just came back from night study. Took bus home and nearly fell asleep.

Grouped with gnie and SM. Totally had a great day.

But night study session wasn't that productive..

Had intended to finish up all the weekend homeworks today,

however we had to go to help out in the beginners' guitar grp. Sigh.

And evrything ended bout 430pm. And it was already SO late. :/

Went to had our dinner and when we made our way back to sch, it was like,

Oh. my. gosh. 615pm.

So TIME wasn't enough for us to complete the stuffs we wanted to.

How mad I was actually. But then,

aiya.. what can we do ? Nothing right?

Exactly ! So I had to torture myself again to wake up early tmrw.

To finish them. Duhh.

Almost everyday is so tiring. I wanna dieee.

Came back so late all because of those remedial lessons we had.

They're good, you know.

But I believed sometimes, we're just tired off by the work..

But .

Aiyaa. It's okay la, yanting ! cheerr cheer, stay positive !

I shall not give up.

But yeahhh, talk is cheap. I had already feel like throwing everything aside, and take a break.

The thing is, I couldn't.

I can't see myself losing out at this critical time.

Everytime I remind myself of the countdown for trial exams

I will be like what..?

Trial exams are coming just in less than twenty days. Ughh !

Oh. my. I simply wanted to faint. Seriously.

Goodnights, guys. I think I had to turn in soon.

Perhaps my fingers were tired too and they don't have any more energy to type anymore.

Have a nice weekend, don't faint like I do. Ha ha, I didn't lah .

I wished I could blog more things, but my brain seems to forget the things easily.

Maybe I'm losing my energy , that's why I couldn't remember them.

Hands stop.

Brain shut !

Eyes closed.

Lights out !

Love and separation.

2011-04-07T19:38:00.009+08:00

'Friends'? I was actually lying.

Oh well, tmrw-is-prelim-oral-examination thing, was continuously on my mind !

Ahhh !

God, please help mee. I'm just poor in chinese oral );

But I have to score well ! ..

Sigh x10000000 !

I think I better stay positive and smile more. Cause being glummy all day long

will only spoil my performance tmrw, I guessed..

Intended to stay in school with Gnie, SM tmrw till very late, to finish homeworks.

Awesome yeah?

All thanks to the homeworks we got for the weekend.

We always couldn't finish them in time. :/

And we don't always stay till midnight to complete them.

Because if we do, we will be sucha idiot. It simply doesn't make any sense.

The thing is, we'll have a problem of staying focus for the next day's school lessons.

If we don't have enough sleep, we gonna die the next day.

Cause nothing could go into our mind, we will lose out, see.

So staying till midnight just to finish homeworks, didn't benefit us at all.

It's just plain stupid for people who does that. No offence though,

cause I'm right here giving you people the correct advice for study.

We should play hard, and work hard too.

No point working yourself hard and losing energy for the next day of lessons.

Isn't it?

So remember to give yourself a fixed bedtime :)

And go straight to bed when it's time for your body and brain to rest..

So that's why I always had this thought : S'pore kids have NO LIFE.

We always work and study. Without exploring the outside real world.

We barely have no time for leisurement, most of the time. Correct?

Unlike Spain kids, apart from schooling, they usually went to art musuem and have a wide range of knowledge for arts and music .

Plus ! they know how to appreciate arts.

We're so different from them.

You know? We looked like nerds. In the way that all the time, what we do was only burying our heads in books.

Sadly, spore's kids only gain their knowledge from textbooks..

Well, forget about that.

recently I have thought about going back to dancing. again.

Ya, regretted of leaving the dance group few years back then.

Dancing has always been the thing I loved.

However, back then I was immature and decisive.

I didn't give a serious thought about quitting dancing.

So now, I truly regretted the decision made by the primary school kid- me.

After this year, perhaps.. Hopefully when o'level is over, I shall go back to dance.

I was from ballet earlier then, surprised right? Ha ha.

Hey. Wish me luck for tomoro's BIG EVENT.

I'm scared. and nervous.

Oh . Currently sooo addicted to G6 'S songs ! :3

Iloveyou, baby!

Take a deep breath, girl.

2011-04-04T18:40:00.005+08:00

Hard to let go, hard to forget. But hardest to wait.

I'm still willing to wait. I don't want to give up.

I'll keep trying till the very end.

I'll stay away from you, but my heart will always be with you..

I stay away so I wouldn't be hurt over again.

So I wouldn't have to tear till my eyes became dry, again.

However, it seems like I couldn't give up.

Just want you to know, even if you don't want to wait.

I'll still be waiting..

Oh well, praise the Lord for everything today :)

I appreciated his blessings upon me.

Gotten back my marks, and even though it's not the best

it was a satisfactory.

Had been spending ages writing.

And had finally managed to complete my compo (:

But of course, it's too early for me to be drown in joy. There's still more to come, I'm sure.

Duh. Had to finish two chinese essays later on.

And I hated chinese all the while, you know? :/ Who don't?

It's a total boredom.. to me.

However, prelims chi oral will be starting soon.

Even if it's seems so hateful, I still have to force myself to bury in those chi context.

Sigh.

Yeah, that's why life isn't easy at all.

What a joke! Fitt run has been scheduled to tmrw. Great. Just GREAT. *rolled eyes*

But hey! Ms tan'll be bringing us to supermarket for geo lesson tmrw. HA :D

Yep, I agreed it's inappropriate. It's irony too isn't it?

But c'mon, who cares? :)

Let's get into hand in hand ~

and together we walk to as one ~

to the supermarket !~

Teehee :3 I'm joking only. I bet my class won't do that primary-school-kid stuff.

I won't too. Rest assured .

I'm childish. But there's a limit to my childishness, yeahh? (;

My heart was dying to say:

I would die without you, did you even know that?

You don't want me actually, do you?

2011-04-03T18:54:00.004+08:00

I heard Lord speaking to my heart.

Guess what He says?..

He told me to stay away from you.

Oh well, I guess nobody wants that to happen too.

I don't wish both of us have anything in between us.

I know you didn't want to. I knew. By the look of your eyes.

I can see what your cold eyes tell me.

But how, everything just happened. What you want me to do?

Sigh. It's just fated.

You know? Sometimes, I wished I hadn't met you.

Sometimes, I wished I hadn't know you through gwyn..

Sometimes, I wished we hadn't.

Sometimes, I wished I was in control of everything.

So my days now wouldn't be such a war-torn.

Yes, you don't want it to happen, neither it's me.

And today, my pretty days were ruined.

Who's fault is that?..

Not you. Cause I can't say it's yours.

Cause I'm confused and don't know whose fault it is.

So okay. It's me. It's me. It's myself, okay?

Human-ships this thing was such a pain. Everything is myy fault, okay?

I just hate the cold stare from you everytime.

You didn't realised it, did you?

Yes, honestly. I didn't know what you're thinking sometimes.

You're just like a question mark to me.

You didn't share your thoughts, your feelings..

As I recalled, you always said nvermind, don't know how to explain.

Like this, how am I going to know about you?

Who are you?

Sometimes, I questioned myself inside my brain.

How is that possible that both strangers can have this thing between them?

I find it odd too. So unbelievable.

My friends talked me out.

I said I'm willing to stay patient, to give you more time.

Maybe things will turn out fine if I put in more effort.

I tried. So hard to get to know you better.

But how come it just didn't work out?

So who's fault is was? Tell me. If you think it's me, go ahead and hate me to the core.

Because, partly is me. I admit. In the text, I was the ONE who let it end..

So I can understand if you can't forgive me.

Well maybe you didn't hate me, you just didn't like me anymore.

Yes, it's true perhaps. Who would want to waste time on this kind of boring people like me?

I believe as time pass, you will just lose interest in me.

Because I agreed to what you have said, I study better.

Actually I don't really, that's all I wanna say.

Because that was your opinion. I couldn't argue.

And in your opinion, I looked dull and boring too.

And therefore, in your opinion, we're TOTALLY impossible.

Still ,I'm willing to try to save it.

My friends knew and told me it's impossible too.

So if you're not putting any effort, why should I ?

If you're not putting effort to make our conversation last longer,

why should I be the one who keep on trying?

If you don't take any effort, I don't have to, cos I'm tired already..

Your expression to me, explained a lot, you know?

One day, I'm going to leave singapore.

2011-04-02T08:37:00.006+08:00

I sleep so to kill the remorse feelings, the thoughts about you..

Because it seems like the only medicine in the world.

Was totally inspired by this pic while I was surfing.

Paris is PRETTYY! Love it (: And sorry uhs, s'pore is a total boredom.

Have you ever wish you were one of the california girls sun-tanning at the beach,

sipping on cocktails drink, and drowning yourself in the golden shimmering seawaters?

A silly girl like me do..

How good it will be if I'm attending in one of the college in Europe now. Ahhh..

And how wonderful if we could hang out in the streets, going parties till midnight strikes and ,

driving cars in the highway with blasted music, filling in the air! Hmmm... (:

I could pictured us lying on a patch of green grass in the night, watching stars.

Oh , how great if I'm living in those times..

And the only way to make it happen is to wait and grow up.

Once grow up, almost everything will be possible. Isn't it..?

Well, sometimes stories from storybooks came alive too. And sometimes, it's good for us not to be too reality in life.

Yes, the world has no fairytales. No perfect love. No perfect outcomes.

But we still have to dream big, think wide. And reach out to the dreams we would want.

We always think we shouldn't be naive. As the bigger hope we carry, will lead us to a greater disappointment.

It's right that we shouldn't place ourselves in false hope, but that doesn't implies that we shouldn't have a dream.

Even so, I believe nothing is impossible.

Those who say their dreams are impossible to happen, that's their own way of thinking.

It can happen and it will happen only if we say it will..

And well well well, that lead me to another problem. Uhmm, where should I go after this year?

The Jc's where smart and diligent students are, or the poly where life's not so stressing?

To me, Jc's are tough. Because A'levels are. It's not easy but i'm not saying it's impossible..

It is simply suffocating as you can hardly enjoy your two years of college.

What I've heard was, it was hard to get through.

On the other hand, poly's much relaxing. Not that stress, perhaps.

Even so, we still have to study hard for the enrollment to University. Yeah yeah, so to conclude, nothing is easy.

A good future comes with hardwork and some pain..

Sigh. Nothing is free in this world too.

No hardwork, no results. No results, no brain-you become dumb & useless to people ! No brain, no job- boss also don't want you.

Then become cleaner but who would want to be that?

So remain jobless lor.

No job, no money. Sigh. No money can lead to two things, no boyfriend, girlfriend and no mansion (big house), big cars- cause who would want a jobless and useless partner?

No bf or gf, no marriage. No marriage, no happiness. No happiness, no life.

And readers, complete that by yourself? Life is yours. Not mine :)

So I got to workhard hard. Life plus money is a scary issue. They can turn you to a rubbish that is kick out from the society.

I don't want to become like this. So pathetic.

Who don't want to drive a sports car, live in a mansion and being serve like a princess or prince?

And living their days with no worries and comfortably?

I would want to live like that, driving a sports car of my own. So what about you? :)

HAI.

2011-04-01T15:41:00.009+08:00

I miss you. What about you?

Oh well, when I looked back. It looks like I'm the cause of everything.

And I'm the one to carry the blame.

Hey you, tell me. It was my fault, right? It's me who let it end.

It's Me who tore evrything apart. Yeah, I know. I must be insane when I said those words to you.

I MUST BE.

But how peopleeee. I shouldn't haave. ):

Ewwwwww. This feeling is unstoppable.

And so unbearablee. It's all my faultt. ): Once again.

There's so many words to say.To tell you. But. I guessed..it's too late.

Life's so freaking annoying somtimes. Had muscle-aches in the morning.

And until now, it's not yet gone. All this happened because of the stupid Fitt run we had!

Consecutive two days of running. One word to describe : exhausted.

Oh, Jesus bless me.

And plus .

April fool's day didn't go well at all.

Damn those people. Who tried to act mature and cool all the times.

So what's wrong with an april fool's text?

And what's with those 'LOL' replies? Yes, I'm lame. I know.

You don't have to signal it to me.

As if I don't know I am like that lor.

(Pleasee skip this paragraph, those words are spoken in a rude tone)

Yes, I'm just like a pre-school kid, primary sch kid or whatever you call. So what!

I really want to smack this guy's ass. You're senior so what! I tell you, I don't like your replies kay. They pissed me off, get it?!

I really see no wrong in sending you an april fool's day text. If I'm bothering you, tell me straight.

Don't go one big round and shot me with those unpleasant hearing words !

Seriously. I don't like it.

As least say something to wish back or simply say HAHA.

Like this very hard meh.

April fool's day was supposed to be a day where everybody have fun around.

For them to become childish, again. It was supposed to be a day where we can fool around. Anyway and anyhow we want. Like being a kid again. To become crazyy once again.

-.- That's why people called it a Fool's Day. You fool !

Please la. Be yourself, you last time also childish what. No point acting mature and cool lor.

Replied like saying I'm so kiddish , and you're also one of them.

You thought you're my senior so got rights to condemn my childishness is it !

Seriously, I'm alright with 'Lol' replies. But still, I hate lols. It made me feel that I'm like a speck of dirt to people.

As for this situation, lol is definitely rude.

There I am sharing a joke and here you are , replying Lol as if you find me irritating.

Forget it.. I'm lazy to argue with this kind of people any further !

Will just treat it like today's my unlucky day and, as if I had accidentally stepped on this BULLSHIT thing.

Facts about you.

2011-03-30T18:21:00.014+08:00

I hope we can be together.

But yeah, it'll be like I'm dreaming or something.

Aww, hated hs'life today. It's so annoying. Those, what? erm, Fitt run..?

What the hell was that? Oh. Seriously.

Do the school have to do until this? Why run? For what?

Yea, our fitness not that good compared with those elite schools.

But, c'mon! So what?!

Studies's much more important. Fitness? Chey!

I'm sorry. I don't even care about it, you know?

Today's assembly was so like a bag of shit to me.

The worse ever assembly I attended in my whole life ! Ughh.

Alright. Today I'm going to talk about this topic: Weekly run.

Like just now what I've said, running every thurs's morning is not doing any one of us good.

I don't think it should be set compulsory.

Sorry readers, I'm just so freaking mad about this issue. I can't help it !

Forgive me, kay?

I know this post gonna be a nonsense, rubbish or whatever you can call it.

I know every graduating classes'll be very tired after the run.

We still have lessons till 230 and despite the only half an hour lunch,

we still go for remedial lessons till 430 and cca all the way till 600+pm..

So why still invent this kind of rule..?

Fitt run? We're not what you think as S'pore sports school, sir.

Honestly, in this year. Everyday has been a hectic day for us. So tired sometimes

we feel like breaking down, giving up.

But no. We still keep trying , in order to stay competent as we knew, it's worthwhile.

Sports thing like Fitt run can be good too. I've no objections on that :)

However, to me personally, it's only an addition of burden on our back.

Why don't they understand that?

They see us as robots, is it?? That we wouldn't even feel tired at all?

And that's the problem, see.

When we got tired, how to focus on our studies then? How to stay awake till 6pm and still go home to finish homeworks?

I really don't see the point of running every thurs.

If that's what they wanted, or if they thought setting up this rule will do us good.

Then all I can only say was student nowadays have NO LIFE at all.

We sometimes don't even have time for leisure.

So WHAT'S LIFE TO US?

And unfortunately, they have defined it for us already.

And answer was, we have none.

How pathetic. Yes yes yes, everything they do was for our own good. We KNOW !

However, sorry sir and madam. For this, I don't think so.

Even I go bang wall for a thousand times, I still don't think Fitt run is any good.

If you readers think that it's reasonable, I apologised for my stubbornness.

Because whatever you think is right, I don't think it is.

Sorry that I had keep this post long.

I didn't mean to. But I had to.

Was superr frustrated at this issue hence, I had to pour them out here.

Homeworks was like a mountain today.

Tmrw's schedule will be busy again. Syf training and ..forget it. I don't wish to list them out here. It'll only stress me even more !

Seriously. Who's that freak who suggest Fitt Run this thingy.?

God. I only hope it's a joke.

I just don't want to run, okay !

Sometimes, we need to step outside, clear our head.

2011-03-27T18:24:00.009+08:00

I'll be waiting.

Hiie! How've you been doing guys?

Shocked?! Oh yes, I think I'm coming back to blogger.

Who cares?

How's Me? I'm okay though.

Been sick past few days but I'm well nowww. Teehee :3

Ooooh, I love my blog layout. Simply fanas-tatic!

Oops. Broken english :0 oh c'mon! But who cares..?

I just want to have some fun! hehe (;

Well, I guessed you and me were really over. ):

I've got nothing more to say. So let nature takes its course.

I hope you're fine too..

We're still friends, remember?

Let's keep in touch and.. move on, yeah? :)

Life still goes on. We gotta live to the fullest.

Yes, Lord.

Perhaps that's the one and only solution.

Big news.

2011-01-16T10:30:00.003+08:00

Hello readers! ;)
I've moved to livejournal already !

Do find me if you can ! :D

Sometimes, somethings are better left unsaid .

I won't look back anymore. I want to be a girl own a real smile .

I can't believe that we acted as if nothing had happen.

2011-01-13T22:36:00.002+08:00

Don't emmit the wrong signals when you locked your eyes into mine.

Life is less complicated if some people were not around, I swear.

Well, see that shoes? :) I simply adore it!

I was browsing through some pics just now, and this caught my eyes. Awesome!

It's kind of cute. HA.

Perhaps I should go and check where it's selling at. And I'll certainly wear this to school if I got it.

:) But I think it's not acceptable according to the school rules.

This is sad. Well, nvermind if i can't wear this to school.

I still want THIS, MUMMY :D

It's eleven o'clock night right now, I needa turn in early tonight.

Nighty nights! :)

My heart'll always leave a space for you.

2011-01-12T20:36:00.003+08:00

Daydreaming about you all day long.

Who knows who's wayne koh? He's the top O'level student for 5N man!.

Oh my, shocking right?!

Well, yeah, it has been some time alrdy. No more feelings, don't get the wrong idea!

But yeah.. I feel happy for him too.

At least, I got to congrats him on msn just now.. Just being supportive and not jealous :)

Well, honestly I'M jealous. Ha ha.

He got all distinctions , cool right?

Hmph, i tried to imagine I'm the one next year, whoa it's funny.

Yeah. He's the role model for me, I will work hard this year too.

I'd aimed for a single digit for L1R5. It's quite impossible actually, but with God, everything became vice versa and the opposite :)

Where to go next, I'm still thinking about it .

It's the beginning of the year and i guess all sec4s had feel the stress in them already..

Syf for guitar in this coming april, so yea , there's another workload to stress about.

Take it easy, yanting. :)

I kept reminding my brain cells that, but am I really doing so.?

Grrrrr :]

I'm going to leave this school with the paper in my hands with NO regrets, so

I'm going to give my best of all. That's how I'm going to do .

Chinese new year's coming soon. Can't wait .

But before that, i guess there's tons of test to take before we could enjoy the festival .

But guess what?

I'm going to SMILE :) for that.

Why there's no actions and progress of us?. Is it that the courage has failed us that we can only say 'hello' to each other from the distance apart..?

Life is full of suprises, but full of disappointment too .

2011-01-10T19:54:00.006+08:00

I'm a girl who don't show her real feelings easily, kay?

Whatever happens, regardless of good or bad. I will still put on my wide smile (:

If you get to see me often in school, I'm always like that .

It's not faking that little smile , it's because I wanted to keep telling myself to stay strong no matter what happen next, KAY.

I have my own pride and OF COURSE I'll protect it,

how can I show my sadness so easily to everyone..?

So yeah, I will hide it carefully so people won't get to see the weaker side of me.

I don't need sympathy.

I just want to tell the blog that, when I'm feeling un-okay.

It's nothing wrong bout that, right?

Well, I'm so happy today. Many great things happened :)

Except for the very very cold weather God gave today!

Gonna wear jacket in class everyday now, the aircon was causing shivers in us!

But , I hope my schoolbag won't be that heavy

I will try ways to lighten it! I hated heavy SCHOOLBAG !

Because I want to SAVE ENERGY CAN!

Ha ha.

Had finished my homewrks today, that's why I can blog here.

I think I'm gonna take good care of myself from now on ,

STRESS is coming on its way to attack us. I'd a feeling that we're going to have lotsa tests and homeworks!

So yeah, mummy I need more vitamins to fight for this year! :B hehe .

And, eat more fruits and vegetables people!

They help you to stay strong and fit ! :)

So we all can fight and win this battle ! Yay!

~~Shhhhh , I want to be the top O'level student next year .~~

I cannot show you I love you. Time will show you I love you .

I'm gonna do a study solo .

2011-01-09T09:40:00.003+08:00

It's hard to force a frown of sadness when your happy, and vice versa.

Got to go to church later. But I want to blog first.

Well, time tik tock so fast, weekend's going to end and there's monday arrival!

School, school and school and

Yup yup it's stressful. But I'm gonna perserver to the end! :)

Had done a revision guide just now, so I can keep track of what I've to revise for each month.

And I'm happy that I'd done it :D

in this way, I wouldn't panic when exams arrive. Woooah, I have a sense of satisfaction ;)

Okies, i've to got ready for service.

And I haven't eat my breakfast yet .

Byeees.

'This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change .

Reality isn't pretty .

2011-01-08T18:31:00.004+08:00

Tell me that you can't get enough of me and prove it .

Back to posting. I'm great. Had finally finished my weekend homeworks!

(;

Gonna do my biology revision later. There's test on next fri, yeah.

Many things have been changed in 2o11.

Well, assemble venues and recess timing has been separated for the express, normal acad and tech.

It was kinda unfair , well to me ):

Why should there be a status barrier between express and swiss..?

Truthfully, reality isn't pretty at all. However, I told myself over and over again to face the fact.

yanting, it's impossible for you to move forward if you're gonna stick your butt on the floor and refuse to move forward.!

If you couldn't control things around you, including your loved ones, don't insist to.

You aren't God! You can't do everything perfectly!

Time heals everything . As time goes by, those things will fade away..

And slowly, they won't hurt anymore .

Just look up to God and everything will be fine.

Yes, maybe . Maybe as ten years pass, everything will be okay for me.

But as I looked back sometimes, all I saw was remorseful and disappointment .

Whatever I don't want to think too much . Maybe it wasn't meant to be.

Everytime something happens, I want to text you, but then remember we are so far apart.

'Cause I'm screaming and running .

It hurts sometimes, do you know that?

2011-01-05T15:47:00.005+08:00

Maybe we'll just drift apart..

Isn't it ironic? We ignore the ones that adore us.

Adore the ones who ignore us. Love the ones who hurt us, Hurt the ones that love us.

School's started already, it wasn't that bad after all. But it wasn't good either..

X'mas and new year had past and this is 2011 now.

Yes, VP was right, we should've goals and try our best to achieve them.

But what's mine? I'm still not sure..

Poly? Or JC?

I just knew that i wanted to go on to uni after that. I want to get a degree. To succeed.

But.. well, let's not talk bout this first.

Something was hidden inside of me for some time..

I guess it'll be right to blurt it out here. I hope.

Isn't it the boys should step one step forward to talk to a girl , or something..?

Isn't it so?

Why do girls always have to take courage to ask for the boys, and not they?

I'm talking the truth.

well, i don't get this bit.

know what? it's so tiring for girls to continue to take their courage to chat with them.

why can't they be the ones whose more automatic?

And seriously, I'm so mad about this..

Why they are so boring..?

I'm pouring this out so I can focus better on my revision later.

It just bothering me..

We girls keep telling ourselves that let natural take its course.

If these boys didn't get to us, just let it be.

But yes, that would be the sad part..

That's why girls took effort to make it possible.

But these guys don't even feel it.

And since , these guys has indicated that they don't willing to give a try

Then, just forget it.

We don't wanna to end up heart broken or anything,

It's just so not worth it..

We girls could only pray by all means to let it be possible, see?

And if these guys want to dump us,

Feel free to say it out, it's fine with us.

-Memories remained the same but people changed, sometimes you have to let go of the past and embrace the future.

Oh. O'level is important to me this year anyway, so I don't even want to think about these anymoreee!

Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way..

2010-12-19T10:48:00.002+08:00

I'd rather be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.

I meant friends. They're the one whom I'm referring to.

Hopefully, I won't be unhappy with'em today..

Well, they want to meet up today to go to mr ong's hse together.

But I went and told'em that I don't want to. I can go by myself.

It's not I don't have legs or anything, why should I meet up with them?

Yeah yea yea.. They thought i'll get lost there , like I'm what?!

Sorry. I know I won't get lost there.

I'd figured out how to go there by myself, so don't even worry.

Gotta go and eat my breakfast.

Weird. Just now, dad asked me whether would I want a bowl of noodles for breakfast.

And he didn't make my breakfast before.

So I told him politely that I can make it myself.

I had never eaten my dad's prepared breakfast.

I regretted saying no to him just now.

- Lord, please be there for me.. Because nobody did.

You're the one I've been waiting for..

2010-12-17T20:35:00.008+08:00

Every time I trust somebody, they show me why I shouldn't :(

Well, just had a big cried just now..

It's nothing much actually.. Just because of a thousand bad reasons that made me to.

Lots of mixed feelings, so I just sobbed out everything I could.

Cried my heart out in the toliet so mummy, daddy and sis won't hear..

Finally, I knew all my friends can't be trusted at all.

And I don't have to bother about my families anymore too.

The more I care for these people, the more hurt my heart became.

Today at xin yuan community, I'd fake a smile the whole day.

I was TRULY unhappy about something and they went on and rub more salt on my wound.

They just won't know how to care for a friend, and what's the point of going there and care for the elderly who you don't even know?

I was feeling terrible so I had no choice and went to text him.

At least, that makes me feel less upset.

But again, I went back home and hide in the toliet.

And drained my face in tears.

And crying out really does helped a little.

I feel better now and in fact, I told Lord that I'll still continue to put on the fake smile.

Even though it's hard. For me. Now.

But yeah, I'm just different from other people. So they won't understand a small bit of me.

All of them.

I know this very well..

Umm, writing all these out here seems to soothe my mood.

I hope to get this COMPLETELY over when I go to my sleep tonight.

In fact, they're my close friends and I hate that they're treating me this way.

Oh well!

Can someone beeps in and comfort me?

-For all kinds of reasons, I want to go the sea-side to scream my lungs out loud!

dudeimsuchateen.

2010-12-16T11:24:00.003+08:00

You're just it for me, the only one who makes my heart flutter. You're

it, no one else.

Woaah-oo.. *backache*

Uhmm, just got this pain when I woke up.. And because..

I'd done so much chores yesterday night.

How insane of me.

I think, I have done washing clothes and mopping the floor. No, the whole house in fact.

The kitchen, bedrooms and living room.

And I did that, because mummy is very busy.

She still have to go church's services and stuffs after working.

And she still have to cook dinner for us. It's tough for her.

Yeah, till now I then realised that being a mom is this difficult and it's not easy.

To be truthful, doing washing and mopping floors were not what moms simply did.

In fact, they did more beyond that.

Like vacuum-ing ( I've tried that before, during new year season.), taking care of children, bringing them to school when they were young, and putting up with the temper we often threw at them when we've grown up as a youth , trying to hide their embarrassment from other parents when they've to come for parent-meet session in school and worse still, their children weren't in the top and even worse, they did badly for their exams.

I guess, this was what most of the parents have to endure with kids like us?

I mentioned kids because most of us still don't have the maturity to behave like children.

They give birth us, gone through so much sufferings, and this is what we return them?

If you're a human, think carefully about that.

If you think that's a no big deal thing and it's okay, you aren't a human. In fact, you're inhuman.

You can go ahead and live in the zoo.

Because animals are just like that, they left their own parents and their parents left them too

after they're born.

Often, I've heard more or less remarks from my friends and they saying that their mom and dad are a embarrassment to them.

But have you think abit more on that, before you blurt out that sentence?

Question is do you even have the right to say that?

No, you don't. We're actually the ones who brought shame and embarrassment to our parents, see.

When we show attitude, rolled eyes and talked rudely towards them in public,

we're the one who is at fault, not they.

Perhaps you only hissed at them softly, "I don't like it!"

But do you even know that your expression had showed people around who you are?

And you had just brought shame to your own parents.

Why don't you try to change abit of tone, " Well mum, I don't think this look nice to me, maybe we should move on and look at other shops instead?"

Yes, it takes effort.

Everything in this world are come in this way.

Regardless of relationship or friendship, we've to take a little effort to make it last long.

That's why people often say, "there's no free lunch in this world, you've to work for it!"

That's it and it truly true.

It doesn't mean that you can use money to buy them, what it simply means was you've to use your sincere heart and action to gain the value of it.

Be it relationship or friendship, there's no such thing like you can possibly use cash to buy.

And you can't buy back your parents as well.

Once they're lost, it's lost. They cannot be found again.

So cherish your mom and dad, they're precious.

Among the one million people in this world, only one women is your mom.

And only one of the men is your dad.

You can only have one pair of parents in this life!

Next life? I'm not sure. Cause you wouldn't know who you are when you're dead.

Only God knows. He'll send you to a place for your soul to rest in peace but then, you'll only know when you're dead.

So study hard, but play hard too. Do your best to make your own parents proud of you.

You know, that kind of feelings you can only get it in this life. Not when you're dead.

Go and do what you enjoy most so time is not wasted.

But don't just play, go on and do something meaningful as well!

Let our life be filled with colours.

Yes, including I , I shall do my very best and to make my parents proud too.

And always talk politely to them even it was my down days.

Helping to do some chores so it'll lighten their workload.

But if it's your life, you're the one who fill in. (:

And as for your friends, families and loved ones, all they could do was to hold your hand and teach you to fill in the right way.

-Treasure every moment and everything you had today, because you wouldn't know what will happen tomorrow.

immahappychild !

2010-12-14T17:15:00.004+08:00

I don't wanna call you, but then I wanna call because even if I don't

want to miss you, I still feel like I'm missing you.

Woah. What on earth am I saying?

I think I need to abandon this feeling in me. Sorry, excuse me.

Just now was out with my three old fellow friends.

Went to nex. Ordered mr ong's b'day cake at four leaves.

:) awesome! He doesn't know about it.

It's black forest chocolate mousse, isn't it yummy?

But will he even like it? Let's hope so..

Well well well..

afterwards, we head on to hou mall. AGAIN.

Soonmin went to buy her x'mas gift for the party this coming sun.

At first, she didn't had any better idea of what to buy, so she said she wanted to buy chocolate.

WHAT? chocolate? again??

I went and tell her, oh please, no, don't ever buy that.

Chocolate is the MOST EVER common xmas gift we often get, see.

So let's do something special this year, aren't you people bored after doing the same thing over and over again?

Don't you get that old feel everytime?

I just don't get it. So I gave her some kind advice to buy something else.

Ha ha ha, gwyn said she will definitely smack her if she were the one to get chocolate this yr.

She's cute! Ha ha.

Don't get me wrong, we were just playing around :)

Then, soonmin still have no idea what to buy, so I told her I actually bought headphones.

(thinking upon that, my heart aches. my money ): )

But , I'm just like soonmin. I also had no better idea of what to give. And our theme is set to be unisex.

So you can't buy a lipstick, and what if a boy gets it?

Only way he has is to save it for his mom's next bday.

So that girl went to 'copy and edit' my idea. She went to buy earphones instead.

The better part of her, let me tell you.

She wanted to buy a white or a black . Too bad, no stocks.

So she bought two of it. And..

One pink one blue. She told me that, after she bought them. She's clever but of course, she has lots to spend. Rich girl indeed.

Well, I have to pray hard now that I won't get any chocolate, notebooks, anything have to do with stationery and face towels.

Those are the gifts I had before when I was young, and I'm tired of receiving them this year again.

Something special.. and useable by me, oh please.

And yes, I have to decide what hair to style this sunday. *slaps forehead*

Hmmm..

I think I have to look into magazines or my MOM? o.O

Mom knows the best, I shall find out whether is that really true.

-When you're tired, draw strength from God.

When you're speechless, talk to God.

When you're lonely, there is God.

There comes a point where I just don't care.

2010-12-08T07:55:00.004+08:00

2011 please be better than 2010.

Yaa Hoo! I'm back ! :)

woah, time passed quickly. It has been a week plus, and my vaccation are over now.

And school's starting soon.

I think I need some space to get over that information.

I hope I'm over that. Actually , I don't even wanna think about 'SCHOOL' .

It's scary. complicated. hectic. overstressing. ...

Uhmm, I'm trying to come out with those, but I guess I couldn't come out with another word that stands with 'O' and 'L' .

I shall stop trying then.

Hmm, malaysia trip was indeed FABULOUS.

I got to see most of my relatives and cousins and they're perfectly fine. Living well.

My aunt brought me to many good eating places in KL.

And it's my pleasure, so often during meal time, I was busy eating, munching.

While all my uncles and aunties chat with my parents, instead of listening I was concentrating on the food.

Yes, to the adults, it may seems pretty rude.

But I have my reason, they were speaking in dialect and very fast too.

Hey, how am I going to listen and understand what the earth they're talking about?

Sorrie.. I'm starting to speak in a unproper engli-sh.

And ya, so I thought it's the best idea to concentrate on the food instead.

We did lots of shopping , bought clothes and footwears for new year and x'mas.

I took track of the duration tine of shopping we did, and the highest record was 7 hours.

Maybe the timing seems okay to you. But sorrie again, I'd never ever ever did shopping so long in s'pore before.

S'pore here is way too boring for you to shop.

Most shops sold branded stuffs and expensive items, in spore I meant.

And most of them are for the adults, not teenagers.

But m'sia is different, shops were set up for teens more.

You can choose to buy a pair of shoes or heels for RM1OO. And it's S$45++

P.S. I'm a petty and stingy money counter.

And some bags sold there, there're never seen here in spore.

They may look alike based on pattern and look.

But you will never get the same exact design in spore.

I don't know why too. Cause you know, there's this thing called import. But msia stuffs never seems to get to spore successfully.

That's why people like me , who is one of them loves to get out of sg to buy stuffs we liked and we don't hope anybody to copycat us, or to have the exact same thing that we've owned.

P.P.S. I preferred originality.

My big aunt had also drove us to genting for 2 days 1 nights.

Both me and sis had our crazy fun at the theme parks.

While she and her boyfriend went to casino.

Well, it's not her boyfriend totally, cause she's divorced long ago.

And maybe she's lonely, so she went to get herself a partner.

As for my mom and my cousin, both of them doesn't want to play theme parks.

They said they played a lot of times when they were young like us.

And so they decided to go to starbucks and whatever coffee house to kill time

by drinking a cup of coffee or eating brownies.

So my sis and I ran around the place and played what we want.

We played the whole 2 days, and we barely had our sleep. Coolios.

It CRAZY FUN!

Day 1, we played the indoor theme park. Quite boring , I can tell you that.

The queue was damn long, so if we want to play that roller coaster, we had to stand in the queue and wait for 45mins.

There's only two thrilled things to play in indoor: roller coaster and that bumper car.

and because it's the top fave likes, many teenagers chose to go for these two.

so gradually, the queue becomes long.

As for the rest, they're the merry go round and some slow train stuffs.

And strangely, all these queue are shorter, cause only parents with young kids will chose to ride them.

It's boring, except if you'd a heart attack or something, if not please don't go for it.

Or else you will definitely fall asleep while the train is moving at that kind of speed.

Outdoor was unbreathable. They made you scream to the max and it caused addiction.

Honestly, the cyclone(roller coaster) scene was still replaying in my mind.

I hope there's one right here in my house.

Dream on, yanting.

And we played one super duper fun ride, the space shot. TA-Daa!

It was like you sit on your seat, then that seat will shot up to the sky, something like fly up.

Once you reached the top, it will dropped down.

Woah, it's something like commmit suicide, you know?

As you drop, you could feel your butt leaving the seat, just like the seatbelt is getting loose and going to unbuckle and you're going drop off your seat and fell off the sky!

We played that early in the morning, right after cyclone.

So there's no queue at all. So the guard allows us to play the second time.

So I went for it, it's unbelivable that I dare to play again.

I must have lost my mind.

My sis dosen't dare, but yeah, I'm a bad sister. I forced her to. She gave in.

And we went up to the sky and dropped down once again.

She screamed like hell as she dropped, I laughed hysterically.

But she liked it, I can see that.

After that, I teased her to go up again, she beat me and ignores me.

But we're just playing with each other. Ha ha.

well, played most of the rides at the outdoor. Except for three.

One is the flying coaster, will it really fly? I bet not, but it looks like.

Second is the corkscrew, it will turn 360 degrees at one point, seeing that makes me scared. That's why I didn't go for it.

I regretted it now..

The last one was the dinosaur boat, it's like one boat will go into the dinosaur tunnel and inside, it's like how you go for the dinosaur exhibition musuem.

You can see the bones and structures of the extinct dinosaurs.

Looks like some scientific things, I hope you get what I said.

Anyway, this was my fourth time to genting. So most of the rides were like repetition.

You played over and over again. But strangely, it doesn't get you bored. Instead the opposite way, you got addicted to them and feel like wanting to play again.

My thirth time was when I'm primary six, so I'm kind of fell in love in genting.

Because once you didn't go to play for so long, you'll began to miss and love it more.

That's what happened to me.

Oh. And the hotel room was beautiful.

But there's no bathtub in the bathroom. It's okay though.

Two queen sized bed, tea corner, tv and a wardrobe.

No balcony, even there is. It's still pointless because it's foggy out there as it's cold climate.

So you are not able to see the scenery anyway.

Because of that, me and my sis decided to go outdoor theme park to ride on the ferris wheel.

Because it's so high, you can see the scenery of genting and the first world hotel.

HA. Talking about the ferris wheel, makes me recalled one thing.

Oh. Both of us spotted a guy at the outdoor while we were wandering around.

He's quite good-looking. That's what my sis said to me.

He was wearing a white collared top shirt and a black jeans.

And walking passed us.

I don't know why too, I caught a sight of him.

Perhaps white and black was striking colours for me?

I thought so. Then, we moved on to the pirate ship's queue.

And he was there queuing too. But way in front of us. I didn't saw him in front but I spotted him when he board the ship.

He was already up there, at the end seat, which was the highest seat, of course.

What caught my sight was he was actually riding alone by himself.

The person sitting beside him was not his friend.

Then, while the ship was swaying side to side, he took out his phone and busy pressing the keypads.

He LOOKED so lonely. Oh my.

Why would he took his phone and pressed the buttons while he's riding something fun?

I asked my sis, she'd no idea too.

I told her is it that he's embarassed that he has no friends by his side, so to hide his embarassment, he took out his phone and kept himself busy.

My sis replied maybe.

And he kept doing that flipping his fringe and his fingers running across his eyebrows, brushing the tips of the fringe hair away from his eyes motion.

I thought that ONLY girls did that.

But now, I finally realised that most of the boys out there did that too.

Well, I should go and observed more of these.

And again, we met the third time. And it was the last time too.

At ferris wheel. He was in front the queue this time too.

At first, we didn't thought of riding the ferris wheel. But after our buffet lunch, my aunt wanted to go back to casino to gamble once more.

So ya, we have a few more hours to play outdoor again.

Buffet lunch had so much to eat, so both of us eat to the fullest.

So we ended up have to go to the ferris wheel first, to smooth down the digestion before moving to the thrilling rides.

If not, we might throw up all the food we ate.

So it was his turn to board the ferris wheel and again he went up ALONE.

And again, with the stupid phone in his hand, and he's looking down on his 'pretty' phone.

Hey, I'm not trying to speak sarcasm of this guy.

But everyone was indeed staring out at him with the weird expression written on their faces.

However, I pitied him.

Lots of guys out there in genting have their own girlfriends or families, siblings to stayed accomapanied.

But strangely, this guy have none, I tell you.

All by himself, wandering alone like a lost puppy.

Ahh.. well, should I not talk about him anymore?

But hor, he still very pathetic.

He should stay in his hotel room and sleep. Like how my aunt's boyfriend did.

Seriously, that uncle go genting sleep one. That's what my cousin told me.

He likes the bed so much that he goes to genting monthly.

I guessed he should live at genting instead. There shall be his home.

HA.

After that, my aunt drove us back to KL.

And we pack our stuffs and leave off to s'pore. And hmm, that's was last friday night.

Reached spore at sat early morning 4am. Coolios.

There's so much to write about. Had so much fun, thankes Lord!

Oh yes. My grandpa accepted Christ. He went to church finally. And was baptised! :)

Give thanks to the Lord.

Sadly, I couldn't write all here. It's already so long.

Who will want read if I continues to write somemore?

They will probably get sick of me. Ha.

Christmas and New year is coming soon! Whoo.

Had a x'mas party at mr ong's house at 19th. Will look forward to it.

Gonna party till night.

Haven't wrapped my gift for the x'mas gift exchange, gonna do it later.

And ya, going for jogging in late evening. I'm growing fat after all the buffet meals.

Takecare, peepos!

-Twitter is getting boring.

Missing you pretty much .

2010-11-25T10:57:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when I push you away, it's because I need you to pull me closer .

Yes, I missed you .

But you said you're busy.

You apologised, I accepted. But somehow, my heart couldn't accept that as the fact .

My heart wanted to tell you so many things ,

But maybe God doesn't want to give me a chance .

So I went to talk to the wall instead .

And that's my twitter .

It's kind of stupid .

But you made me to .

Becos you said you're busy, I believed them.

I don't wish to disturb you, I'm afraid if I do so, you might get angry with me.

And that's becos I CARED about you .

But I'm afraid to said that my heart is going to die soon .

Missed you so badly, but you doesn't seem to .

I love you, okay?

So please don't make me upset like this ever again.

-Please tell me once you're busy over your stuffs .

Sometimes, we just have to be alone to think about what we really want, & to realize who will really make us happy .

2010-11-24T20:32:00.005+08:00

If I were to say that I'm feeling fine right now, I would be lying .

Mmm . I could hardly remember the things that happened today..

Well, gone for my guitar lessons just like yesterday .

And I had to swear ( yeah, I know I couldn't ) that guitar lessons have improved much,

we had so much laughters and joy shared between one another .

Mmm yeah pretty much .

And that's a good sign, isn't it? (:

Well, went for late lunch together with them after lessons .

We ate, talk, gossip? ( oh yeah, about gabriel . hehe. ) and laughed too!

And i guess everybody feel better this way.

And God, I want to thank you for that :)

But as what we used to say, ' good stuffs always comes along with bad stuffs ' right?

And that's always true.

However, I shadn't breathe a word about that .

Well, readers . I'm going overseas this sat.

Off m'sia again . Oh yes, again.

To visit my cousins and relatives, i'll be looking forward to it.

Will be back, hmm I don't know when ..

Mummy didn't tell me about that .

Probably a week or so?

And I just realised that times flies really really fast .

-I think I'm afraid to be happy, because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens .

Love is not seen with the eyes, but felt with the heart .

2010-11-22T14:07:00.006+08:00

Spongebob: " What do you usually do when I'm gone? "

Patrick: " Wait for you to come back . "

Oh . My poor sunflower had died ..

This morning, I woke up to check on her and guess what?

Most of her yellow petals dropped and it's wittered .

Still remembered that day, mummy brought 3 home .

And they were all so prettyy :)

I told mum that they were lovely , so nicee!

And she told me it was some aunties in the church who gave her those ,

I think they were probably doing some events or stuffs like that .

And ya, I sweared ( although christians weren't supposed to do that, I know. ) I did took good care of them .

On everyday basis somemore . But still later, one by one died ):

And the very last flower died today..

So I had none of them now.

Arhh, forget bout it ..

I don't wanna think about it already. Cause I'm already starting to feel sorry for a flower.

How silly.

Oh yes. There's guitar audition test tmr, wish me good luck.

And all the best for others too .

And Happy Birthdayy to my dear soonmin! (:

Sweet lovely 15th!

Yupp. That's all.

Will end off here .

Glad that you are there to chat with me, but it would be nice if you tried to keep the conversation going-

Reality bites ..

2010-11-20T16:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish I could just fast-forward through time,

just to see if its all worth it in the end .

Hi blog .

Yes, have change my usual greetings to this instd of ' readers '..

Ughh! Have been thinking whether to keep this blog private again or public .

Well ..

Sometimes , people around might just mistaken for the idea that they're not welcome

if they happen to view your blog if you set it to private status ..

So , blogging privately, to me is pointless and meaningless .

Cause you seems to be talking to a screen and not readers ..

however, without privatising it, you can't blog your own sayings and thoughts .

Nvermind about these anymore ..

I shall give myself more time to consider :)

- Damn . I missed you .

yeah! i'm leaving.

2010-11-07T15:13:00.002+08:00

yeah, hello readers!
i'm at changi airport. terminal 2 now. ya, blogging now must be crazy me, isn't it?
haha :)
sorry.. there's no picture now.
no time. my flight will be leaving a few more minutes later.
i'll surely miss singapore, will be back on thurs . so it's still alright! :)

miss my daddy, mummy and sister!
i'll buy more soveniers back, i'll try, okay?

oooh, i'm getting more and more excited!
cambodia, i'm cominggg!

bye, readers.
i shall end off here.
takecare everyone.
god bless too!

-God is my strength and my redemmer.

Love never fails, but humans do .

2010-11-04T20:29:00.002+08:00

Right through me .

Today's the last day of our remedial lessons ! Hurray!

It's finally over. Yeah .. over over .

Wulalalala .

Duhhhhhhhh..

How sadd!

Everyone think that guitar lessons were not THAT fun and interesting anymore!

And I'm the only idiot out there who still thinks that lesson is enjoyable .

Yes, the one and only idiot!

Hey lord, why do things always fall back into their own place?

The way I reallyyyyyy hate it.

Why? why?

I pray hard, trusted you. Lord. But it isn't working!

You see .

I told myself to rescue this guitar club, with every little tiny efforts I could.

But there's no improvements .

Or was it me?

Is it that i'm not trying?

Or what ?

And another thing. I want you to online when I am.

Prayed . Signed in . But no YOU .

Where did you go?

My life's totally wrong. Oh dear .

However, good new is . This sunday!

Yeah, I should try smiling for a bit . At least. (:

Or else, I would have that sulky face with me all day long .

Yipee! I'm looking very forward to it !

Ahhhh .. I'm feeling much better this way.

- When people disappoint you, just look at God .